#nothing caused it in particular i just. got depressed on that day and then my brain has been different since

[sangunary]

- Hush now Crybaby.

YANDERE BATFAMILY X NEGLECTED READER.

\\ Part 1 // \\ Part 2 // \\ Part 3 //.

You would stay by your rotting corpse, gently brushing your hair out of your face or just starting at it in general. Your corpse was becoming stiff and extremely cold, at times you tried to warm it by holding it.

A soft sigh left your mouth as you give up on trying to warmth the body display infront of you.

"How much longer do I have to wait...?"

You've been thinking alot, wondering why your body is still chained to Earth and you realised your physical body never got the rest it deserves.

The body laying on your coffin underground was a decoy made by your father, as twisted as it sound he only did it in hope of putting your soul back into the body.

Alfred and Bruce knew that, they knew that your current physical body was hidden inside the batcave. Alfred was hesitant at first but Bruce assure him that what he was doing might be morally wrong but it was the best option they have, if they want a new start.

Even after death nothing was better, your life only change slightly and it was for the worst. No one could see or interact with you, but you can uncover all the secrets which was alot more depressing than you expected.

You've found out how your mother died recently after a drug overdose... She was found stiff and unresponsive in her motel and a foam seeping out her mouth, surprisingly everything was clean, no missing things or any sing of struggle.

It was ruled as a sucide, the media claimed it as 'Woman killed herself after her daughter died of her neglection' it was Ironic... You couldn't help but stump your feet a little at that information, first your mother would never neglect you... and Second she was the best mother you could wish for.

You couldn't bear the silence inside the room so you decided to go outside to check on a particular individual.

Dick Grayson.

He was sitting infront of your grave cleaning it with his bare hand, replacing the previous flowers with Rose's. Since your relationship with him was on the edge when you died he doesn't even know your particular taste in flowers , as a result he would pick out new flowers everyday and replace them each day.

Your ghostly figure sit next to his watching him clean your grave once again, atleast he was being productive. Some especially Tim was coping in an unhealthy way.

Locked himself and barely ate anything, everything reminded him of you... His favourite coffee was now leaving an extremely bitter taste on his tongue, it was only because he realised how involved you were in his life and how without you his daily routine weren't the same.

Tim have also started to spiral into madness, doing research on you instead of his usual detective work. Who have hurt you and who have been nasty to you, he was willing to do anything but blame himself for your death or the family.

He's been looking back at every video footage of you and him and storing it into new files each file were specifically made for each video.

"Im sorry little wing... I couldn't find anything new today, so you'll have to take this for today"

Grayson gently murmured as he pluck out the old Lily's- old by one day - Wiping the vase carefully, holding as if it were the most fragile vase in the word.

"Life been abit hard... I know I shouldn't burden you with my problem especially when... You never had them. But, Kory and I took a break..."

His voice was more high-pitched than normal... Yet he continues to look after your grave, dealing it with great tenderness.

His mind flashing back to everything he had done wrong, prioritising joker over you... He remembered how he left you inside a burning building and instead saved the joker, as a result you got a nasty burn mark on your left hand.

Although he doesn't know who to blame you or the joker. Cause you're a hero, he thought you could save yourself... It doesn't matter that you were like what 7? Thought he did half heartily apologise after being lectured by Bruce.

"If you were back... Everything would be fine, im not blaming you of course... Just, I don't know anything good from bad especially after you left us"

"I do not know what possess you to be so reckless... I can't imagine what you must have felt but it's selfish"

"If you were here, Kory and I would take you before any of those... people could. It'll be just the three of us, I'll be the one you will depend on... You won't need to worry anymore, We'll never let you get hurt. Never again"

Dick continues to pour his heart out and slowly he began to smile, his mood began to shift from gloomy to thrilled, suggesting places and activities as if you were still alive.

If anybody was to come across this interaction it's either they'll lable him as mentally challenged or is high on sadness that they ended up talking to a grave.

You stood up getting ready to walk away, it's abit hard to pity them. They never acknowledged you when you were breathing and it's messed up that they only care after realising their mistakes.

"...Huh?"

A mysterious man was standing infront of you, you wouldn't be startled if he wasn't staring right into your eyes. A white lantern...?

You know him only because of the file you would read when you were bored out of your mind. Bruce must have called him, afterall he was a very new and surprising face to see in Gotham.

"...Nice to meet you?"

After your short introduction and your very long introduction on why he must not interfere at all, because as much as it suck being a ghost being alive with your current family would be hell.

Thought he does not seem to value your opinion at all, directly telling Bruce about your presence.

"You can speak... she can hear you"

Deadman informed Bruce.

"I apologise for my negligence and your mother unexpected death. She was a great woman just like you... I don't expect you to forgive so easily but, I want to see you smile again"

You didn't utter a word. You wanted to comfort him yet it was hard pitting the same man who avoid your presence when you were alive.

"Can't you bring her back...?"

"No, she's too far gone"

Your corpse look fine from outside but your inside were rotting and molding. Bruce tried his best yo preserve your body but what's gone is gone. All you want is for your body to rest.

"I refuse to believe. There must be a way for her to be back."

"I have no saying in logic. But there are artifact's that allows one to see ghost"

"I will do anything to see that smile again... I want to apologise to her face to face as well"

Your Father was one of the rare people in the family taking the responsibility in your death, this wasn't the first time he utter an apology. He would slept in your bed missing you, crying or talking in his sleep apologising it seem as the guilt never stopped chasing him.

Though he was the same man who left you unattended during gala surrounded by random man while you were a child. The same one who lecture your brother for leaving you in a fire only because he would have to explain why the burnt mark was there and not because it was wrong.

It was only natural for guilt to cling onto him the longest, he already lost Jason. But you were different, Jason died while having a somewhat happy memories. You died with nothing but bitterness and salty tears.

As much as you would love to fulfill your father's dream you couldn't help but be uncomfortable.

You've overhead Bruce and Jason conversation once and you regretted it. Jason being the most experienced in dying suggested the worst thing possible.

A new bedroom, made just for your liking.

A dingy room with chains to restrain you. All the window must have bars, even if you somehow managed to broke the iron chain you wouldn't be able to jump out and possibly risk breaking a bone.

"It's a necessity, I went mad when I came back, what gives you the idea that she won't be the same and in our case you'll be her first victim"

Jason harshly spit out. You couldn't help but disagree you wouldn't dare to hurt your family, even if they have hurt you in unexplainable ways. Your heart still ache for them in vain.

"Even if she dare to break out I have another method, far more wise and useful but I rather we use it as a last resort"

The last resort was, smashing your ankle. It was simple and Jason already have experience to make sure you won't be in more pain than necessary.

To put anything between your foot and for that object to be used as a support, tying the foot and arm's to restrain you. With a hammer all they have to do was to smash the bone into pieces, you wouldn't be able to walk at all but it was also necessary to treat the bone to avoid disability.

If the bone was to be left to heal by itself it would reconstruct themselves wrong leaving you to excruciating pain, not being able to depend on your foot and you might need to cut your foot off.

Another reason why you dread to be brought back, no amount of convincing or pleading would make them understand... They'll break you and rebuild you as if that was nothing.

They can't treat you like a daughter or a sister even tho they seem so willing... To you they only love you because of the guilt and not because they understand.

Damian was a reason itself, didn't even let a single tear drop during your funeral and the visit at the hospital. He did cry in secret which was pleasant to watch.

He's either beating people into pulp for the smallest crime or is actively trying to bring you back in another form. He have asked Raven to assist him but even the girl found it inhuman, suggesting for him to just mourn you and let your soul be in peace.

It was now noon the whole family jam inside the living room discussing.

"She can't be brought back? Jason died, the Lazarus pit can and must brought her back"

Damian argued, as much as he doesn't wanted to be emotional your absence was taking a toll on him.

You were the first to treat him like a human and he took that for granted. When he realised others weren't as understanding as you were he would get bothered... As much as he hate you that was just the crust of his heart, to him the core matter more... It was totally not an excuse for his horrible behaviour.

"You haven't tried that, father we must try before coming into conclusion!"

"I have tried Damian, nothing worked. Her body was rotting from the inside I was not aware"

Finally Barbara spoke up.

"You have tried? I have been visiting her grave everyday when did you di-"

"It was a decoy"

Jason decided to told the truth. The room felt into a long silence and suddenly shouting and names. They weren't happy that Bruce didn't tell them about the decoy, to them that was a breach of trust Bruce desperately tried to build after your death.

"Silence! There is another way we can see her, Deadman suggested using special artifact's that allows people to see ghost... We will us that as a temporary comfort and we'll find a way to bring her back... with us "

Everybody agreed, unknowns to them you were contemplating life whether you should leave your family and risk the chance of being brought back to life against your will or... Leave.

TAGS: @lovebug-apple, @leeiasure, @invinciblewaffles, @dangeroustravelermultiverse, @shycreatorreview, @bellethesleepypotato , @cluelessteam , @fortunatelydifferentqueen, @doggyteam2028 @icryat2

SPECIAL TAG: @megasweetbones.( TYSM for the great idea 🫶)

[misswynters]

Jinx comforting depressed reader...as best she could

featuring. jinx x platonic! sister reader

requested by anon

Jinx wasn’t the best at handling emotions, well at least not the messy, quiet ones that didn’t come with explosions or screaming matches. But when she saw you, curled up on the edge of the old couch in the hideout, staring at nothing in particular, she couldn’t just walk away. It wasn’t the first time she’d found you like this, but it still hit her like a sucker punch to the gut every single time.

She approached cautiously, her usual chaotic energy dialed back to something softer. The quiet shuffle of her boots against the floor was the only sound as she made her way over, dropping down beside you with a loud plop. She stretched her legs out in front of her, slouching dramatically, trying to fill the space with her presence alone.

“You know,” she started, twirling a strand of her blue hair around her finger, “I was gonna blow something up today. Had the whole thing planned out—fireworks, kabooms, the works. But then I thought…” She leaned her head back and tilted it to look at you. “Maybe explosions aren’t what we need today.”

You blinked slowly, finally glancing her way, your expression unreadable. “We?”

“Yeah, we,” she said with a shrug, nudging your leg with hers. “You’re my partner-in-crime, remember? What’s the point of causing chaos if you’re not there to laugh about it after?”

You let out a faint snort, the first crack in the wall of silence that had been surrounding you all day. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to make Jinx’s grin widen.

“Ah, there it is! I knew you still had some life in you, sis.” She pulled herself up into a cross-legged position, turning to face you fully. “Okay, let’s make a deal. You talk to me—about whatever’s got you all doom-and-gloom—and I’ll make it worth your while.”

You raised an eyebrow. “What’s ‘worth my while’ supposed to mean?”

She smirked, her eyes glinting mischievously. “Guess you’ll have to find out. But you’ve got my full attention, which, let’s be real, is worth its weight in gold.”

Despite yourself, you couldn’t help the small smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. Jinx always had a way of breaking through your walls, no matter how high you tried to build them. You hesitated, your gaze dropping to your hands, which were twisting nervously in your lap.

“It’s… hard to explain,” you murmured. “I just feel… heavy. Like I’m stuck in this fog, and no matter what I do, I can’t get out of it.”

Jinx’s expression softened, the teasing glint in her eyes replaced by something gentler. She reached out and took your hands in hers, her grip warm and grounding. “Yeah, that fog sucks,” she said simply. “I’ve been there. And it feels like it’s never gonna go away, right?”

You nodded, the lump in your throat threatening to choke you.

“Well, here’s the thing,” she continued, squeezing your hands lightly. “That fog? It’s a liar. It wants you to think you’re stuck forever, but you’re not. You’ve got me, and I’ll keep dragging you through it if I have to.”

Her words were unpolished, maybe even clumsy, but they hit exactly where they needed to. You felt a tear slide down your cheek, and before you could wipe it away, Jinx was leaning over to wrap you in a tight, slightly awkward hug. She smelled like gunpowder and oil and something uniquely her, and it was oddly comforting.

“Okay, okay, no more crying,” she said, pulling back just enough to look at you. “Because I’ve got a plan.”

You sniffled, your curiosity piqued despite everything. “A plan?”

“Yep!” She stood up and offered you her hand. “We’re gonna do something that makes you smile, even if it kills me. And I’m not talking about one of those fake, polite smiles you do when you’re pretending to be okay. I mean a real one.”

You hesitated for a moment before taking her hand, letting her pull you to your feet. “What did you have in mind?”

She grinned, her excitement infectious. “Oh, you’ll see. But fair warning: it might involve paint, glitter, and me being an absolute menace.”

And for the first time in what felt like forever, you laughed. A small, genuine sound that made Jinx’s chest swell with pride. “There’s my sis,” she said, slinging an arm around your shoulders. “Come on. Let’s go make a mess.”

taglist. @writingwisterias @ekkosh @inguuuuu @themostlesbianever

[aceofwhump]

You got any favourite Buck & Tommy whump fics?

(I am now on a BuckTommy kick bc of you. I hope you are happy with yourself 😂)

Asdfghjkl OH OH! My friend. You have no idea the can of worms you've just opened 👀👏 I take full responsibility for your BuckTommy obsession because I am obsessed with them and I need more friends to be obsessed with the BuckTommy whump with me. But oh my god YES I HAVE RECS FOR YOU!! Did you know that I clicked on the BuckTommy tag on AO3 and, after filtering out the things that squick me out, I went page by page looking and reading any scrap of whump and angst (specifically Tommy focused cause I want him HURT) that I could find? Did you know that that was over 600 AO3 pages of fanfics I went through? And that I bookmarked like 150 individual fics? When I tell I went crazy over these two...I WENT CRAZY. So yes I have fics to rec!

Brace yourself! This gonna be HUGE. And there's more to read on my AO3 bookmarks if you want to look (under aceofwhump)

(I also may have started writing a few of my own inspired by the prompts for BuckTommy whump week that I missed so we'll see if I can finish those because apparently I can't finish a fanfic to save my life lately)

Tommy whump centric

Hold on a little longer and believe I'm here to stay by salty_autistic_writer Summary: "You don't want to know this about me, Evan," Tommy says after a moment of hesitation, his walls cracking for a volatile moment, pain flickering in his eyes before he tries his best to look indifferent again.

Buck feels hurt. "What are you talking about? I'm in love with you, Tommy, I want to know everything about you."

Oh. This was not how and when he wanted to say it.

Buck knows he's in love with Tommy but has a feeling that Tommy is keeping something from him. The inevitable confrontation reveals scars and shows they will have to fight for their happiness together.

TW: suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt,

nothing to worry about by elizabethgee  Summary: It's early in their relationship. Tommy gets hurt, and Buck tries to figure out how to take care of his new boyfriend.

The Path to Burnout, Anxiety, High Emotions, and Really Missing Your Boyfriend By Tommy Kinard by bccw13  Summary: Three weeks of misaligned schedules, picking up shifts, helping or hanging out with friends and family, Tommy was exhausted. A particular bad day at the end of a long three weeks has Evan helping his man let it all out.

When evening falls so hard by xanthippe74 Summary: Tommy remained silent for the entire ride home, and when they were stopped at a red light, Buck glanced over and saw that he had propped his elbow on the door in order to cover his eyes with one hand. Light sensitivity, Buck told himself. A common concussion symptom. Tommy definitely wouldn’t be crying in Buck’s truck right now. Not unflappable, confident Tommy.

There was something going on with him—something more than being shaken up by an accident.

Three weeks after their disastrous post-breakup hookup, Buck gets an unexpected call from Tommy.

The Devil Doesn't Bargain by torturedslothdepartment Summary: Tommy Kinard lived a whole life before he walked into Evan Buckley's life, and it's not one that he's offered up much of so far. Until Evan starts asking questions.

TW: graphic depictions of rape/sexual assault, abuse, military abuse, self harm, suicide attempt.

grayscale mountains of monotone thoughts by xTarmanderx Summary: Tommy’s depression gets the better of him after a rough shift.

Focus by firewasabeast Summary: “Focus. Focus, focus, focus, focus.” The words stumbled out of his mouth unconsciously. His fingers tapped against his thigh rapidly. His eyes were wide but hazy; blearily searching for something to center on but coming up empty.

“Focus, focus, focus.”

He was sweating. It dripped down his forehead, off his eyebrow, to his cheek. It tickled as it ran over his nose. It gave him chills on the back of his neck.

“Focus, focus.”

His leg shook, bouncing up and down anxiously. It was hard to breathe. Hard to breathe the way he needed to breathe anyway. He could only inhale part of the way, short and stunted exhales making him dizzy.

He could hear people yelling at him. Could hear them calling his name.

They might as well have been speaking a foreign language.

A tunnel to crawl through by prufrocks Summary: Evan sits back on his haunches, unweighting Tommy's legs, and he feels like maybe he could float away from here, unmoored as he is from the bed, from the situation. He's in trouble now, or he will be in a few seconds, but for just this moment he's removed from the forces of gravity, and it feels nice.

"Tommy," Evan says, a tremor in his voice, and that's enough to bring Tommy rocketing back down to Earth. "That wasn't a sext, was it."

Tommy makes a decision. Buck meets him halfway.

TW: suicide attempt

White Noise by seisirasei Summary: Tommy never meant to chase after the call—he certainly never meant to get buried under a crumbling house with too many regrets and a body giving out beneath him. But one bad feeling led to a collapse, a broken leg, and a 9-1-1 call he almost didn’t make.

With Maddie on the line and the 118 closing in, Tommy confronts more than just the pain.

Threshold by seisirasei Summary: Excerpt: Tommy stumbled to the door, every step a battle against the waves of heat and exhaustion that threatened to pull him under. When he opened the door, he thought he must be hallucinating.

“Ev—” he tried to say, but his throat was too dry, his voice too weak. He swayed on his feet, his vision blurring.

“Tommy!”

What You Wanted, What I Needed by seisirasei Summary: One desperate night forces Tommy to confront his broken pieces—and the one person who’s always willing to be there to hold him together.

Excerpt: "Why not me?" Tommy whispered, his voice breaking, tears streaming down his face. "Why can’t I be enough for you?"

Buck cupped Tommy’s face, his thumbs brushing away the tears. "Tommy," he said softly, his own voice trembling, "you’ve always been enough. You just have to believe it."

the air it hurts by Anonymous Summary: After Tommy gets hurt in a near-fatal accident, he learns that there are some things he doesn't have to be afraid of. And that he no longer has to feel jealous of the family he left before it became one.

Hang on 'til the hurt is gone by tabbytabbytabby Summary: After a long shift, all Tommy wants is to spend the next two days off with his boyfriend. Unfortunately, a bout of food poisoning threatens to derail that, but Evan is there to help him through it.

Throw Me In The Deep End by MustLoveTommy Summary: It's a great day for Buck since he will get to spend the next two days with Tommy. Unfortunately, Tommy sends him a message that changes all their plans.

TW: depression

The Fire in the Fall by writerdot Summary: The air feels suffocating and even through his turnouts, the heat is reaching unbearable levels and they haven’t even entered the complex yet. He looks at the burning building in front of him and sighs, thinking that he would pick today, one of the worst days he’s had in a long time, to volunteer to help with ground ops.

Or: Tommy Kinard has a very bad day.

Sick of It by firewasabeast Summary: In which Tommy gets sick, and he and Buck head towards making up.

The Things I Cannot Change by firewasabeast Summary: Buck thought he and Tommy knew everything about each other. Thought their relationship was as solid as ever. Until Gerrard mentions a military operation from Tommy past, and a confirmation from Eddie makes Buck realize he might not know Tommy at all.

TW: depression

No Man Left Behind by firewasabeast Summary: Eddie linked his hands together. “This is gonna hurt like hell,” he warned before using all of his strength to pull Tommy out of the helicopter.

The scream that escaped Tommy as Eddie pulled on him could have taken him right back to Afghanistan, if he'd let it. A guttural scream that verged on sounding more like an animal than a human.

“I know, I know,” Eddie soothed even as he continued to drag Tommy across the wet, muddy ground. “Gotta keep going. I think it's gonna blow.”

Tommy tried to look up toward the sky, focus on the clouds, the trees overhead, the sun trying to poke through. But the pain was too much, so he squeezed his eyes shut and opened his mouth wide and let himself yell in a way he'd never yelled before. His arms dropped to the side, fingernails scrapping through the mud and leaves as Eddie pulled and tugged and said things that Tommy couldn't bother to hear over his own cries.

Hold me on my bad day by bidisasterevankinard Summary: Tommy had a bad day, has an awful morning he starts as blanket burrito, but his boyfriend's cuddles make it better

The Weight of the Past by adoctoraday Summary: Sometimes the weight of the past is just too much to carry alone--and now, Tommy has Evan to help him shoulder this burden.

a fevered blur by aceanx Summary: Buck is a damn good firefighter. He knows every piece of equipment and what it does back to front, he’s able to get dressed in under thirty seconds, and his overall response time is pretty damn quick, in his eyes. He’s aced every test he’s done for the academy, even when he had to get cleared for duty multiple times, and he’s read the manuals backward and forward more times than he cares to admit.

He’s put blood, sweat and tears into this job. He loves nothing more than being a firefighter. His concern is never about himself on the job. He knows he’s capable and he knows even if something were to happen, he would be alright. He can handle the strain of the job. He’s nearly died several times and has actually died once, after all. If getting struck by lightning hasn’t scared him away from the job, nothing will.

Buck’s a damn good firefighter, except when it comes to his loved ones getting hurt.

That’s the one thing he can’t handle.

-----

another "buck finds out tommy's chopper has crashed" and cue panic.

You Ask How I'm Doing Like You Knew What Was Wrong by Snaptic Summary: Eddie saw Tommy freeze as the first string of fireworks went off in the distance. He had flinched, and his quick scan of the yard had brought his attention to his friend, who had gone so still he could be a statue.

OR

Tommy finds a sense of belonging with the 118. In Buck's absence, Eddie steps up.

I Am The Broken, I Am The Wound by NeverlandPoet (do_androids_dream) Summary: Buck found Tommy in the bathroom, a dark shade crouching next to the shower, clasping his knees. He dropped down, put the phone aside and let its light illuminate parts of the ceiling. It was enough to see Tommy’s face, absolutely frightened, eyes wide open, staring into the void. He was panting way too fast, close to hyperventilating. Buck knew these signs.

“Tommy. Hey. Look at me, okay? I’m here,” he whispered, his voice hoarse for some reason. “What... what's going on?”

“I don't know,” Tommy said, almost sobbing, “I don't know, I just don't know.”

Microsleep by salty_autistic_writer Summary: After showing up at the hospital after his long and hard shift, Tommy is so tired he's experiencing microsleeps. Buck drives him home. (Written for Whumptober Day 8: Sleep Deprivation)

The Bracelet She Wore by space_cadet09 Summary: Buck and Tommy enjoy a relaxed day exploring LA. Their peaceful outing takes a dramatic turn when they witness a violent crime on the street. As Buck springs into action to help the victim, Tommy is overwhelmed by a traumatic memory from his childhood. This event forces Tommy to confront the deep pain of his past. As Buck supports Tommy through this emotional journey, their bond deepens, showcasing their love and mutual support.

*BuckTommy Whump Week 2024, Day 2 Prompt: "I'm fine. Just, I wanna be finer." | Prompts: Emotional hurt // PTSD*

The Fire is Inside the House by Writer_Lethogica Summary: Evan "Buck" Buckley is fighting a wildfire with the 118, when he sees a helicopter crash - the helicopter of his boyfriend, Tommy Kinard. It's a race against time to find Tommy before the wildfire hits the crash site. Part 6 of Denial-verse

thursday's child has far to go by vincerets Summary: Tommy laughs, as much as it can be called a laugh when he can barely get the air to do it, but his breath still grazes against Buck’s lips, the ghost of what he really wants. It’s warm, and Tommy’s still looking at him, and it’s been eighteen days, and he’s baked on nearly every one of them. They’re in a crashed helicopter and Tommy’s pinned down and it’s a terrible idea and it’s been eighteen days, he’s counted every one, and-Buck kisses him. Tommy's helicopter goes down. Buck copes. Kind of. Hey - he never said he was coping well.

Please, I've Been On My Knees (Change The Prophecy) by unhingedangstaddict Summary: Tommy leaned against a tree and tried to catch his breath. It wasn’t exactly easy between the intense heat, thick smoke, and the painful ache in his ribcage. He guessed it had to be at least seven or eight broken ribs, but he wasn’t a doctor nor was he going to poke around at his chest and try to figure it out- it didn’t matter anyway. His head was throbbing in pain and his limbs felt incredibly heavy. The ringing in Tommy’s ears hadn’t stopped, and the pain in his shoulder and arm was getting worse and worse.

But Evan was waiting for him.

This was not how Evan Buckley would turn out to be his last.

Tommy pushed himself up off the tree he’d been leaning against and continued walking.

---

S8E6 Fix it fic featuring a helicopter crash, anyone?

I sabotage and break my own heart, just in case by harmonic-intervention (BackseatSerenade) Summary: Yeah, no. This wasn’t happening. Not again. Not after all of that.

- Bucktommy fix-it. Two words: helicopter crash

Hold on hope by icestar663 Summary: Things Buck didn't want to have to do today: 1 - Find out his boyfriend was missing 2 - Stay put 3 - Convince said boyfriend that he had to save himself

I See the Memories (and the Tragedies) by DarkAliceLilith Summary: “C-can’t b-breathe.”

“What happened? Do you need help?”

“N-Nightmare. A-a-army.” He could barely get words out, his brain not even really caring that he had called the wrong person.

Unbroke hearts like yours (what'd you wanna waste that on me for) by allthefandoms84 Summary: Tommy has regretted leaving Buck almost the instant he left that fateful night but he doesn't believe he is worthy of being in Buck's life. Tommy is hurting after the break up but refuses to allow his friends to see how much he misses his Evan. After an accident leaves Tommy hurt he still refuses any help during his recovery until Buck bullies his way back into Tommy's life. Refusing to believe they are truly over Buck has his work cut out for him convincing Tommy he deserves good things.

all this love i've thrown away by jamesandanthony Summary: The first thing Tommy notices upon coming back to his senses is the cold.

Despite the rain, he doesn't remember the day being particularly cool when he'd left for work that morning so he cracks open his eyes to take stock of what is almost certainly some kind of situation with a capital S.

Ah yes.

The ground had swallowed him up as he'd landed.

Silly of him to forget.

Dear Agony by NeverlandPoet (do_androids_dream) Summary: BuckTommyWhumpWeek, Day 5: Hypothermia

walls come crumbling down by writerdot Summary: Buck and Tommy are trapped in a building collapse. Because of course they are.

Buck whump centric

Because Evan Buckley was loved. by Emaisnialleraf Summary: Based off my twitter prompt : Another flash of lightning shoots across the room as arms around his waist draw him closer. He feels Tommy press a sleepy kiss against his curls. "S'okay, sweetheart." A heavy palm trails softly across his back to calm the trembling. "I'm right here."

Give Me Tonight by Lostintheuniverseslies Summary: Buck didn’t want to jump. Not at first. Sitting on the edge of a condemned high-rise, tequila warming his veins and quieting his thoughts, he wonders if making the silence permanent wouldn’t be so bad. Then Tommy shows up—blue flight suit, steady hands, and a voice that refuses to let him disappear.

TW: depression, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt

a vessel, tempest driven by saintsurvivor Summary: Sent to a medical call at an elderly couple's bungalow with reports of a suspected heart attack and the victim having been trapped against the front door, the 118 hits tragedy midway through a twenty four hour shift.

A roaring sound, rhythmic and constant, a heavy breeze that just touches him. Buck turns towards it, magnetized. “You’re alright, son,” Bobby tells him, orders him, as if Bobby could simply stop time and death and Buck’s own body in its tracks. “You’re gonna be just fine.” The blue and red lights of the Ladder Truck, illuminating the street, but still Buck’s eyes threaten failure, blurring until it melts into one.

Both Buck and Tommy get whumped

Hold My Hand, I'll Walk With You My Dear by salty_autistic_writer Summary: Everything’s been nice so far. Nice and cosy. Buck has been feeling content and he does like the movie. He’s snuggled up to Tommy, who radiates body heat. He even was considering putting his head on Tommy’s shoulder. But now, Buck suddenly can’t focus on the movie anymore. Another full-body shiver catches him. His mind feels foggy and floaty. And somehow, he feels a restlessness settling in that absolutely makes no sense in this situation.

Stunned, Buck realizes that he’s scared.

Or: 5 times Buck and Tommy talk about their fears and 1 time they defeat fear together.

All the Pain by NeverlandPoet (do_androids_dream) Summary: When an auspicious evening ends in disaster, Buck and Tommy are left to suffer the unexpected consequences. (BuckTommyWhumpWeek)

Branching Out by writerdot Summary: “It’s kind of cold in here,” Evan says calmly. Tommy gets off the dining room chair to go to the thermostat when the world spins around him.

Evan’s in front of him in an instant.

“Tommy,” Evan says, voice insistent and when he looks up, Evan is shaking, hard, and...is that water?

Evan’s covered in it, from head-to-toe, curls plastered to his forehead. Tommy can feel himself shaking now, freezing, his body aches and he’s wet too, what the hell?

“Tommy,” Evan is insistent. “Tommy, baby, I need you to wake up!”

Or: Buck and Tommy are in a little predicament.

Lost and Found by nine_one_wanton Summary: Tommy retreats mentally and geographically after Bobby’s death. While still processing his own series of losses, Buck goes out to try to bring Tommy back.

 Please don't leave me by Honestlynervousnut Summary: Buck has a horrible nightmare

Catastrophe by NeverlandPoet (do_androids_dream) Summary: BuckTommyWhumpWeek Day7, Canon Typical Injury (on both)

Let the walls break down by harmonic-intervention (BackseatSerenade) Summary: A whole month. That was how long Tommy could push his luck.- bucktommy fix it, near-death experiences will force them to talk if nothing else will

[bonesxbows]

Once Upon A Dream - Chapter 5 (Lucifer X Reader) (Alastor X Reader)

My Masterlist

In a sleeping beauty-inspired AU, a curse is placed over you when you strike up a deal with Heaven to protect baby Charlie, causing you to lose your memory. You remember nothing once the curse takes over; not your marriage with Lucifer, not the family you had with the two of them, nothing. So when a strange smiling demon offers you a place to stay when you can't remember where 'home' is, you take him up on his offer. 

(WARNINGS)

Gendered terms used (mom, good girl, wife) but otherwise gender neutral pronouns used

Heavy depressing themes

Loss of a parent (temporary)

(CHAPTER WARNINGS)

Relationship coercion/manipulation

this chapter really ran away from me lmao, next one will be shorter to make up for it. I'm having a little *too* much fun writing Alastor into this so next chapter will also be focusing on him, but Chapter 7 will be a major turning point for sure!

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5 (You are here), Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15, Chapter 16, Chapter 17

Banners by @strangergraphics

It had been a few days since your arrival at the hotel, and for the most part, the passing time had been uneventful, except for every time you came into view of Charlie. Her eyes seemed to follow you wherever you went around her building, not necessarily staring at you accusingly, but staring at you nonetheless. It put you on edge. Made your skin tingle any time you were near her. 

Alastor had never left your side, seemingly always glued to you anytime you left your room, never letting anyone else get close to you for more than a few minutes. You were starting to get suspicious, but overall you didn’t mind the attention. So long as he played nice. 

One particular day he had approached you, materializing from the shadows in front of you as you were walking down the hall towards your room. You nearly dropped the stack of books in your hands as he startled you. 

“So jumpy, my dear! As if I’d ever hurt such a pretty thing like you. May I ask what you’re reading on such a fine afternoon?” He was leaning all of his weight on his cane, dropping his height to be more at eye level with you. 

You shifted from foot to foot, adjusting the stack of reading material in your grasp. “A little bit of everything, not much to do in this place, and I was hoping reading might jog a memory or something, I don’t know. Might be wistful thinking…but why do you ask?” 

He hummed, as if contemplating what you had told him. “Mind if I join you?” 

“You…want to read with me?” 

“Only if you’ll allow me as company, that is. I don’t mean to impose.” You were beginning to hate that smile of his and the way it so easily hid his true intentions. He sounded sincere, and despite your incessant decorating your room was still rather cold and dreary, perhaps his company wouldn’t be so bad? If only for just a little while. 

“Alright, Alastor. This way.” You began walking towards your room again and he followed behind, his cane clicking off of the hardwood excitedly with each step. 

When you reached your door you arrived at a conundrum; you didn’t have enough hands to juggle a stack of books and fumble with your keys at the same time. You groaned lightly under your breath, shifting to place the stack of books on your hip and hoping you could hold them with one hand long enough to unlock your door. But before you could shift the goods in your hands a green glow had surrounded the reading material and they floated a good few inches out of your reach, taking the pressure of their weight with them and off of your body. 

“I’ve got this, dear. You go ahead and let us in.” Alastor piped up from behind you. When you turned your head back to look at him you saw his pointer finger outstretched and pointing towards the floating books, the same swirling glowing green light dancing around his hand. He tilted his head slightly when he saw you looking at him, making his ears lean to one side, as he gave you a little shooing gesture with his free hand, motioning you back towards your door. You whipped your head back around and dug into your pocket for your key, trying to fight the slight heat rushing to your face. Was his hair always that fluffy looking? 

Once the door swung open and the two of you walked inside Alastor set the books onto your bedside table, the green glow disappearing as each one plopped down onto the other. You made yourself comfortable on your bed, sitting against the headboard with the table within reach and Alastor sat next to you, swinging his legs out and crossing them, with his cane lying against the nearby wall. You picked up the first book. 

“An argumentative on the mortality of sin? I never took you for a philosopher!” His radio-filtered voice sounded…different, being this close. But you ignored that feeling for now, for fear that your face would turn pink again, and instead looked down at the cover of the book in your hands. 

“Neither did I,” You let out a dry chuckle. “But the title felt familiar. I…I have no idea why. Do I seem like the type of person to read stuff like this?” You asked him with a lopsided, self-deprecating smile. 

“We’re all full of surprises, dear.” His voice dropped, a throaty whisper in your ear. The radio fuzziness accompanying his words sent goosebumps down your spine. You cursed silently in your head. His smile deepened, eyes glowing red in the faint dimness of your room. You had been staring. 

Bravado struck, and you decided to seize the reins of the moment at hand. Swallowing your nerves you snuggled into Alastor, propping yourself against his side and leaning against his chest. He tensed under your weight but made no move to shrug you off. You pulled your knees up, creating a platform to prop your book upon, and cracked the spine open to a chapter that seemed interesting. It only took a few seconds before Alastor’s arm found its way looped around your shoulder, drawing you closer to him. You were grateful you were facing away from him; your face turning pink at the thought that your spur-of-the-moment decision was being received so well. His chin found the top of your head, leaning over you to indulge in the book sitting in your lap as you did. 

Focusing on the pages became increasingly difficult with his devilish warmth surrounding you. 

Another particular day you found the little girl you had come to know as Nifty skipping down the hallways, singing a child’s nursery rhyme as she went, the words changed to paint a far more gruesome picture than the original. When she nearly came crashing into you, oblivious, you held out your hands to stop her in her tracks before she could. 

“Oh! Hi, Ducki!” She gave you a small but enthusiastic wave. “Did you like my rhymes? They lure the bugs out of hiding so I can catch them!” She curled her hands into fists, her eye narrowing into a threatening look with a smile that could rival a certain other hotel resident. 

She was…certainly something, you had come to learn. You pursed your lips but still forced a smile. “They were lovely, Nif. Do you by chance know where Alastor is?” 

She kicked her tiny foot, her needle-like shoes scratching the wood. “He’s in the kitchen. Kicked me out and sent me bug killing.” Her eye began to follow the walls and up towards the ceiling, distracted by something that you couldn’t see or hear. 

“The kitchen? Why would he be in there?”

“He’s got a thing for cooking. Likes to keep it a secret from most people. Said it was okay to tell you his secrets though. I think he likes you!” And with that she was off, scurrying down the hall with her giant needle in her grasp, chasing something only she could see. 

You walked off towards the hotel’s kitchen, mulling over her words deeply. It was a gamble if Nifty ever told the truth, she was the hotel’s resident wildcard, but Alastor’s recent actions had been rather…telling, to what she had suggested. And it was known that he was closest to the little bug-killing girl more than anyone else in the building. Fuck, this was the last thing you needed on top of everything else happening to you. 

Regardless, you pushed all of the complicated feelings aside as you approached the door to the hotel’s kitchen. Soft jazz drifted to your ears as you walked inside, static humming accompanying the music. 

And there was a downright wonderful smell wafting throughout the entire room. 

“Alastor?” You called out timidly, not wanting to startle him. Your steps were uneven along the tiles, not entirely sure if you were welcome here or not yet. He had kicked Nifty out, after all. 

A puff of fluffy red hair peeked out from behind a full wall cabinet, followed by an abnormally large smile. “Ah, hello there my dear! I didn’t expect you to find me here, but come in, come in! No sense in you standing there by yourself.” His head disappeared back behind the cabinet and you hurriedly followed after him, walking into the kitchen proper. 

It led to the source of the music, one of Alastor’s old radios, and the source of the smell, the kitchen was a mess with cooking supplies and food. The radio demon was busy practically dancing around the place, hopping from one cooking station to another, all while humming along to the tune of the music. You propped yourself up on one of the bar stools nearby, watching the scene unfold in front of you. 

He looked so different, contently gliding amongst the kitchen appliances. You had never seen him so at peace before. It was an odd sight, to be sure, this usually threatening and ominous demon reduced to domestic work. It was…oddly cute. His smile seemed actually genuine for once. 

You hopped off of the stool and walked over to him, peering over his arm at his latest task; his clawed hands expertly working a sharp knife through a mangled-looking piece of chicken. He stopped when you placed a hand on his forearm, turning his attention towards you. 

“Can I help?” You asked shyly, not quite sure what his answer would be. But when you looked from his cutting board and up to him his smile grew. He flipped the knife in his hand, grabbing it by the blade and offering the handle to you. Once you took it he stepped aside, letting you take over where he had left off. The meat sitting before you suddenly looked utterly intimidating. When was the last time you had cooked? Let alone held a knife to do so. 

Alastor must have sensed your nervousness. With a soft hum, he came up behind you, boxing you in between the counter and his body. “It won’t bite, darling, it’s already dead.” He exclaimed, amusement coating his words. The curve of his chest slotted against your shoulder blades as he leaned over you, taking gentle hold of both your hands in his own as he began guiding your motions. The slices and cuts were clean, accurate, precise. Clear signs of years of skill, even through the use of your hands. You cringed to think where he had learned them from, what else had been underneath his tools besides a dead hellbred bird. 

“What’s all this for, anyway? What are you making with all of this?” You asked, using conversation to distract yourself from the darker thoughts that wanted to poke at your mind. You wanted to kick yourself for asking as soon as you felt his chest rumble against your back with every word. 

“Jambalaya, my dear. A New Orleans classic.” He said it with such nonchalantness but you almost dropped the knife out of your hand. The chicken beneath your blade was replaced with a link of smoked sausage and he was still directing your hands, slicing the new meat into perfect disks using the same fluid motions as before. 

You were oblivious to the change on the cutting board in front of you, instead more interested in the detail you had just learned. He had mentioned the world above. The world you had come from, originally. “You’re from New Orleans?” 

“Born and raised since before the turn of the century!” He sounded so prideful a swell in your heart wanted to ask more, walk down memory lane with him through the world you had nearly forgotten about after all these years. But Alastor seemed like the demon that would close himself off if you poked too hard at personal topics. 

So instead of asking the burning questions sitting on the tip of your tongue you merely hummed happily. “Sounds like a lovely place, Al.”

After the kitchen scene, you spent a lot of time in your room alone, thinking over what Nifty had told you and comparing it to the way Alastor had been treating you. You knew you were special to him, it was obvious by the way everyone else looked at him; they were scared of him. But yet he willingly put himself in your space, spent time with you, was nice to you. Who else in the hotel could say that, maybe besides Nifty?

This feelings bullshit was driving you mad. You liked him…didn't you? So what was making this so difficult? 

You groaned and thudded your head into your hands, forcing your eyes closed in the process. Pain throbbed behind your temples, the inside of your mind set to a spin cycle, except half of the damned washer was missing; a whole chunk of your memories still scooped out and discarded no matter how much you tried to wrangle them back. It was becoming futile. 

A knock rang out against the wood of your door, but you ignored it, too caught up in your emotions to care. It rang out again and you rolled over in your bed with another groan, shoving your face into a pile of blankets. You squeezed your eyes shut, holding back tears and willing whoever was at the door to just go away. You’d be out later to talk, you reassured them silently in your own mind. Just go away for now. Please. 

The room suddenly felt colder, a lot colder, and a shiver ran down your spine. You peeked your head up, twisting in place to look back at the door. It was still closed, but you swore you saw something moving out of the corner of your eye. When you looked in that direction, towards the shadows thrown by the lamp in the corner, it was gone, whatever it had been. Another shiver racked your body, but this time not from the cold. 

However, the table next to the lamp had been touched. A piece of yellowed paper sat on the wood, edges crisped with blackened char. You scrambled off of your bed, nearly tripping and face planting into the floor as your feet got caught and tangled in the mess of blankets. When you righted yourself you simply stared at the strange addition to your room, too afraid to touch it. 

The writing on the paper was too well scripted and detail-oriented to be from anyone else but him. 

Dearest Ducki, 

Would you be so kind as to grace me with your presence this evening? There’s something I would like to show you that I think you would find great joy in. Hide away from the others if you would like, but I ask that you at least give me the honor of one final evening with you before you lock yourself away from me as well. Find me in the foyer if you wish to take me up on my offer. I’ll be waiting. 

Yours, Alastor

You scoffed, but an amused smile sprouted on your lips. He wrote like a radio broadcaster too. It sounded like something out of a Shakespearean romance novel. Cheesy, but somehow also adorably cute. The shadow you had seen earlier and the mystery of how the note had gotten inside your room with the door locked had now fled your mind, being replaced with the notion of whatever plans Alastor could have possibly concocted for you. It sent butterflies to your stomach, kicking your legs into motion to find something more suitable to wear other than the pajamas Angel had lent you. 

You settled on something more eye-catching, but not too flashy, and rushed out your door. 

You were surprised to find the sun had already set, darkness spilling in through the numerous windows lining the hallways. Had you been sulking for that long? But regardless you kept moving at whirl wind speed, practically flying down the main steps and into the foyer. 

He was sitting there, legs crossed and ears perked up, like he knew you would come. Nerves started to chew away at you again, the sight of him always working you up into fight or flight. You tamped them down.  

“You…wanted to show me something?” Your voice was soft in the open room, the overhead silence suffocating. 

He didn't say anything, but merely stood up and outstretched his hand, offering it to you. You took it and immediately his clawed fingers laced themselves through yours. He pulled you slightly closer to him, and you were about to ask what was going on, but then he tapped the bottom of his cane onto the floor and a frigid cold started to overwhelm your senses. Instinctively you turned to clutch on to Alastor, wrapping your arms around his torso to fight off the sudden cold. His free hand wrapped around your shoulders and rested on your back, pulling you closer to him, just as the two of you were encased in total blackness. You turned your head into his chest, burying it into his clothes as the cold bit at your nose. 

But not three seconds later it was over and Alastor let go of you. You took that as your cue to unbury your head, and when you did you found that your entire perspective had shifted. No longer were the two of you in the foyer of the hotel, instead you found yourselves in one of the many residential rooms, except this was one you hadn’t seen before.

The place was swathed with shades of red and mahogany, dressed up like a hunter’s lodge, complete with a, currently roaring with flames, wood-burning fireplace adorned with a rack of massive deer antlers settled above on the stones. The layout was more or less similar to your own room, except for the entire side wall being gone, replaced with an expansive swamp that stretched as far as you could see. It entranced you as soon as you saw it, the lights of the room gleaming off of the water’s surface drawing you in. It was hauntingly beautiful. 

Alastor followed behind you silently as you walked closer to the bog’s edge, crickets beginning to echo in your ears the farther you got from the hotel room section. A swirl of fireflies circled around your head, making you spin around as your eyes followed them, their glow reflecting off of your face. When they disappeared Alastor was in front of you, his smile warm as your eyes widened at his closeness. But you weren’t frightened. You never were, not anymore. 

“This is New Orleans, my dear. Or part of it, anyway.” His smile seemed to drop on those last words, causing a frown to crawl onto your face. He missed his home an awful lot for someone who rarely talked about it. But he was quick to recover, almost as if his smile had never faltered at all. “Now then, there’s something I’ve planned for you. This way, dear.” He sprung up, energy revitalized, grabbing your hand and gliding you over another section of the bayou. 

It was closer to the water, the grass practically mush under your feet, but a cloth-like blanket had been set out for the two of you, candle-filled glass jars holding down the edges. Fireflies swarmed overhead, lighting up the entire area with a soft yellow glow, revealing what the blanket had been holding; a small feast, including snacks of a varying variety, some of which you knew Alastor had seen you eating at the hotel recently, and some of which you didn’t recognize at all. It was something akin to a movie scene. 

“Oh, Al…you didn’t have to do all this.” You exclaimed breathlessly, your eyes still taking in every detail.

“But I wanted to, my dear. Here, come have a seat. I promise they won’t bite.” He took your hand again, leading you towards the blanket and gently pulling you down into a sitting position next to him. 

You were so caught up in the scene in front of you that you didn't register his words until you were already seated. Your face twisted in confusion. “...bite?” But your question was answered for you when the water started to move. You jolted, wanting to get up and run, but Alastor placed a hand on your thigh, stilling you. You whipped your head towards him, looking for answers, but all he did was smile at you and pat your leg. As if that was supposed to make you feel safe. 

When you looked back towards the swamp you were met with four tiny red glowing eyes staring at you from the water’s surface, small bump-like heads peeking out from the stilled muck. 

You froze. And time seemed to freeze right alongside you in this portaled-from-earth pocket-sized dimension. Your breath caught in your throat as those red eyes stared at you, seconds ticking by. That is, until they started to move towards you, cutting through the water and creating jagged ripples in the dark murky surface, far faster than any normal beast had any right to be moving. You yelped, nearly screaming, and practically jumped up onto Alastor’s back, clutching at him as you buried your head into the crook of his neck. Rightfully putting him between you and whatever horrid abomination he had spawned here. 

He, however, merely chuckled at your fearful antics. But otherwise didn’t seem to mind how grabby you were currently being. 

You kept one eye peeked over his shoulder, trained on the beasts zooming out of the water. It took them only a few seconds to reach the shore, their snouts emerging from the surface first with a loud and dramatic splash. But when their long snouts filled with nasty-looking-razor-sharp teeth were followed up by tiny stubby legs you couldn’t help but poke your head up in curiosity. They took a big uncertain step onto the soft and semi-squishy land, both of the creatures, and they began to waddle over towards Alastor, big fat lizard-like tails dragging behind them. They stopped at his lap, looking up at him with those glowing red eyes, the same eyes that had seemed so terrifying before, but now looked akin to that of a scaly puppy; wide-eyed, pupils blown, and mouths agape with a smile of teeth as they gazed up at their master with affection. 

“…Alastor?” You called out to him quietly, a silent question hanging between the two of you. 

He seemed to understand, his smile deepening out of love for his pets before him. “Meet Odele and Eula, Ducki.” He gestured a hand towards the two animals in front of him. “Aren’t they just the most adorable deadliest little things you’ve ever seen?” He ran a hand over one of their scaly heads, rubbing a knuckle in between the bumps of their jutted-out eyes. It hiccuped from the attention, its mouth falling open into a smile that matched the one on its owner’s face, rows of sharp teeth glistening in the low light. 

The twin became agitated from the lack of affection and snorted, padding her short chubby feet over to you and bopping her snout against your leg with enough force that sent herself stumbling backward. You let out a laugh at the unexpected tantrum and the animal looked up at you with wide happy eyes, appreciation of your praise gleaming behind them. 

Your hand was shaking as you reached out towards her head. Alastor had said they wouldn’t bite, even promised, though you assumed that word meant very little to him, they were still animals. Those capable-of-tearing-flesh-from-bone teeth were still frightening up close, especially when you knew of these creatures back during your time of being alive. But the little thing was patient, plopping back on her hind legs and waiting for her eventual head pats and affection. Her skin was cool to the touch, scaly, wet, but not unpleasant. She began to croak out a hum as you mimicked what Alastor had been doing to her sister. Your body began to relax a little and a small smile creeped onto your face as the little animal melted underneath your touch, turning from a toothy killer into a cuddly softie. 

The thought made you think of the demon sitting next to you; did you have the same effect on him? 

“Oh I just knew the three of you would get along swell! They seem quite fond of you already.” He spoke up, a static-y rumble coating his words as he kept his voice low. 

“They are quite lovable, once you get past the terrifying part. But I never took you for a ‘pet person’, Alastor. Do…do they remind you of home?” You weren’t sure if it was a question he would answer willingly, but you asked anyway, curiosity getting the better of you. You wanted to learn more, uncover what hid beneath that defying smile all the time, no matter how off-putting he seemed some days. 

But he merely hummed in response, not really agreeing, but not really denying your statement either. He gave the little alligator one final pat on the head before letting out a harsh high-pitched whistle between his teeth, which the two creatures seemed to understand as a command of some sort. Within the next second they were both teetering back down towards the bayou’s waters, diving in and gliding off underneath the surface, leaving little more than tiny ripples in their wake. He then snapped his fingers and the silence was filled with the sounds of a radio, records of old jazz playing at a soft volume, mixing with the sounds of cicadas and bullfrogs coming from the nearby forest to create a euphonious lullaby-esque melody.  

“Al…” You started, looking over at him. He had his usual smile stuck on his face, his emotions too hard to read beneath it all. The dim lighting created shadows underneath his fluff of hair, his red eyes casting a soft glow amongst his cheekbones. You swallowed thickly. “All of this is wonderful and all, truly, but…but why bring me here? Why show me all of this?” 

He chuckled lowly, as if you had uncovered some sort of secret of his. “Come now, darling. You haven’t noticed? You’re…what’s the word?” He paused, leaning closer and grabbing your hand within his claw and lacing his fingers within yours with such a featherlight touch you wondered if he was even really there. “Special.” He whispered, finishing his statement, his face nearly inches from yours. The sound of his radio filter coating his words left a white noise buzz echoing in your ears. 

Your eyes went wide, mesmerized by his closeness. Your heart thudded in your throat. He heard every beat, tantalized by the increasing rhythm that he was causing. Seconds passed by, feeling like hours, but you never pushed him away, never flinched from his touch, never looked away from him. 

His smile curled into a smirk before he leaned in even closer, making a move you hadn’t anticipated. His lips were a hair’s breadth away from yours when you finally pulled away, yanking yourself out of his grasp. The static surrounding him turned into an ear-splitting screech, the glow of his eyes intensifying as he narrowed them. 

“Wait, Alastor. I…I shouldn’t. I can’t. I…I like you, I think, don’t get me wrong, you’re wonderful to be around, but…but I…” You stumbled over your words, struggling to get your thoughts out. His actions had left you nervous. In a good way, you had to admit, you wouldn’t have minded kissing him honestly, but every time you thought about it there was a terrible sense of guilt eating away at the back of your mind. Like you subconsciously knew you shouldn’t. 

He looked at you with his head cocked to the side, waiting, patiently, but aggravated. He hated being interrupted. Especially during a hunt. 

So you finished your thought process quickly, before he became more irritated. “What if there’s someone else? From before, I mean. What if I already have someone, and I just can’t remember who they are? I can’t just abandon them like that. It isn’t right.” You looked at him, hoping for understanding. He had been during this whole situation, so far at least. Though that was before you had refused him. 

He hummed, sitting up to his full height and cupping your jaw with his other hand, gently running his clawed thumb over your face. You leaned into his touch despite yourself. “If there was someone waiting for you back home, don’t you think they would’ve come searching for you by now, dearest? You’ve been gone an awfully long while. You deserve far better than that if they can’t even come fetch you when you’re missing.” 

You were stunned into silence by his words, mulling them over in your head for a moment. He lets you think, continuously caressing your face while you do. Was there some sense to his words, or was it just the swamp air and lulling jazz muddling your sense of reasoning? But no one’s shown up to the hotel asking about you. No one’s come looking for you since that day Alastor took you under his wing. Why would they be waiting so long to find you, if there even was someone out there searching? 

No. He had to be right, didn’t he? You were worrying over nothing; there was no one out there waiting for you. You had no one; otherwise, they would have found you by now, surely. 

So you looked up at him, conclusivity shining in your eyes, a newfound softness overtaking your features as you stared at this demon who had found you that day, heartwarming feelings swirling around in your chest. He treated you with such love and kindness, a true rarity down here. 

He leaned in closer again, and this time you let him, meeting him halfway as he pressed his lips to yours. He was gentle, warm, like fire on the very tip of your skin. It was quick, a small and soft kiss, but full of unsaid promises of love. 

When he pulled away he didn’t go far, his nose still tickling yours. His eyes shone brightly, reflecting off of your face as he narrowed them in satisfaction, his grin widening inhumanly. 

You should have been scared. He looked scary. Intimidating. Frightening. Like he would snap your neck in two with his teeth alone within a second. 

But yet you weren’t. That fear had long since twisted into affection. He had you curious. You were left with nothing, after whatever happened to you, but now you had Alastor. Something to fill that gnawing void of emptiness you felt in the pit of your stomach, where something was missing. 

“You taste even more lovely than you look, ma chérie.” 

Static rang in your ears.

To be continued in Chapter 6...

Taglist - Let me know if you would like to be added!

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[charmedreincarnation]

Hey guysss! A lot of people have been asking for me to make a challenge for a while now. I honestly didn’t want to, not because I’m against them or anything but because the law will be different for everyone. Sometimes, it feels like tumblr needs a reminder - you are the only person who knows what you need to do to succeed. I wish I could imprint this realization on everyone's minds. I’ve also gotten so manyyyy asks about things that genuinely just feel like your doubts repeating in your mind constantly so I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs bc y’all are spiraling really hard. I get it you want your desires for Christmas and new years. It’s okay take a breath, you're alive and will be okay.

Firstly: at the beginning I used to spend countless time spiraling into depression, constantly changing my methods every time I saw a new success story, and every time I found a new foolproof' tumblr method. Methods that were supposed to guarantee results in a day so when they didn’t I felt rlly useless. It was annoying, to say the least, and I don’t want to help others do the same thing, but really all I can do is reiterate what I always say and hope you apply it to everything!!

A lot of you guys wanted something that didn’t involve the void state, so that’s what this will revolve around! But feel free to make this void orientated if you desire, and I’ll also add a void section so all my babies can eat!

Ok so you’ve over consumed, you have dropped the void, and now have switched to just assuming and knowing that you would wake up with your dream life - embracing states. Great! At first, it will seem like you're doing nothing but you aren’t! For example, I knew I was dwelling in the state of wish fulfilled when I went to work without shedding tears, when I looked in the mirror and didn't think I was ugly because, well, I'm beautiful! I didn't care abt not performing well on a test because I could revise my past etc. this isn’t to say ignore the 3D: don’t do that, please try and make sure you’re safe and okay. But know life is malleable. Slowly, things that used to bother me—my parents, grades, anxiety, self-deprivation—started to fade away. Even though my dream life hadn't reflected in my 3D yet, I felt the switch. That's when I decided, I know what to do.

I also remember finding this cute website a long time ago that I want to share that summarizes it in such a great and simple way.

So Before I knew or understood what LOA was, I found this gem of an article on I am Love'- "How To Shift Into A State & Stay There". I think I have a post abt it somewhere on my blog but I’m too lazy to find it so here it is again.

Basically it explains that the essence of shifting into a desired state and staying there. What resonated with me was her choice to dwell in the state of knowing that her desires are hers, no matter what.

The way she used colloquial language made the content relatable and easy to understand. It's like having a conversation with a friend who's guiding you through hard concepts with “dumbed down” language because at the beginning states made 0 sense to me.

Posts like this really helped me particularly because when I discovered Neville, it required three attempts on my part to not only intellectually grasp his teachings, but also to truly comprehend him as a whole, given his non-contemporary speaking tbh.

I recommend it if you find yourself stuck or not really grasping the law yet (which is more than okay) but, if you're looking to understand the loa better or just learn more give this article a read.

There’s also a particular quote from Neville that really got me to dive into his work after finding this article and it was- “The being that you really are, descended to the weakness of the flesh, causing you to experience the state you are now in. Contemplate another state, and the same being who brought your present form into being will restore and make alive the other state, the state desired. This he will continue to do until his purpose is fulfilled. That purpose is to follow a certain pattern back into the unity of being. You see, in the beginning we were drafted. We did not volunteer to fall into these states. We were made subject into futility, not willingly but by the will of him who sent us. But when we return we will discover that we are the very being who subjected us. We are now the sons, destined to return as God the Father!”

Now that you understand and are ready to apply state, Here’s a routine I’ve created to hopefully help you guys! It is very simple and not time consuming at all.

Scripting and writing: I love writing and feeling like the author of my own story, literally bringing my creation to life. I would write when I felt like it. Whenever I wanted to dwell in my state, I would simply write, "I have my dream life." It's so simple, yet it embodies everything I need. If you’re more of a picture girl, use Pinterest instead. Or both if you prefer it doesn’t matter.

Edward arts' "I am creator meditation": Again, do this whenever you like it. It's one of the few meditations that didn't bore me to death and seemed to work with my ADHD. I also love reading, so I would read his pdf whenever I felt like it and take mental notes. Reading his work was a reminder I was doing everything right, it resonated with me very well.

During doubt and overstimulation: When things get overwhelming, close your eyes and let the emotions pass. They’re just thoughts! repeat the words "I am" until your heart returns to its normal rhythm. It's a simple yet powerful way to ground yourself amidst the whirlwind of emotions. And guess what? You can use this technique for doubt too! So the next time you're feeling overwhelmed, remember the power of "I am". It's a gentle reminder of your existence, your resilience, and your capability to be whatever you want despairs any emotional turmoil.

Thank god: (yourself!!) When reminded of your desires. Thank you god. When you see your desires, (eg:Pinterest, online or you’re just reminded) thank you god! When you see an image of your desires, thank you god! When you dream or think about your desires. Thank god! Always thank the person fulfilling it aka you ;)! If you’re religious just thank the god you actually follow.

Nightly reflections: At night, ask yourself , "What would I do if I woke up in my dream life right now?" repeat this question throughout the night. Then, imagine whatever scene you want. What would you do if you could not fail? What would you do if you had all the money in the world right now. What if you looked in the mirror and saw the most ethereal being and it’s just you? What about if you woke up in your dream house with your dream family and pets? This is inspired by one of the first shifting methods I created that helped me fulfill my imagination before I knew what that meant. When you’re ready to sleep just remind yourself it is done, and drift off into your desires.

As I've always said, I've been a great daydreamer. I knew exactly what I wanted my life to look and feel like. I envisioned my walk-in closet filled with luxurious outfits, waking up in my dream room on a soft mattress with my pets purring nearby. I saw the decor reflecting my personality in every corner of my large, and pretty room. I imagined walking into my bathroom, seeing all my cool Sephora products lined up for my skincare and shower routine. I love taking care of myself because I know I deserve it. I saw myself looking in the mirror, knowing I'm "that girl" who turns heads wherever she goes.I visualized going downstairs in my boujee dream house,and seeing my family stress-free, smiling, and eating well. I saw plans being made on my phone, my friends were excited to see and talk to me. I went to my kitchen, filled with expensive ingredients ready for me to cook meals for my loved ones - because I love cooking. I saw myself checking my bank account and seeing multiple seven figures in my savings, checking, and investment accounts and opportunities easily presenting myself to make more if I wanted. I saw myself running errands in my car, shopping, getting Starbucks, having expensive lunch with friends, and making a trip to Target. Despite the simplicity of the day, I would come home and be like, "Ugh, what a long day!"like that one khloe kardashian meme. What if all this happened today? Visualize and feel the scenes so clearly that it felt like it's already happening.. not just in your imagination.

Most importantly: Define the law for you! Stop parroting bloggers and intertwine your own beliefs with the law. The only principle of the law is that through persistence assumption will harden into a fact. Other than that anything goes except for facts that are wrong.

Here’s old notes I found in my phone lol just so you know what I mean by define the law for you: ignore the writing I was kinda dumb and new to the law 😭😭

Now this is for my void babies if you made it this far.

Read this post.

This is it copied bc the links are wonky sometimes

“My previous method is based on the persistent assumption, which a lot of people don’t know how to do right and it might take some time even for those who have the right self-concept and the mindset, so today I was in the process of manifesting this method.

And I was successful!

This method is for everyone. It’s the easiest Void method.

Do you know that you get into the Void state at night automatically? At that time the whole perceived world disappears for you. Every single perception and assumption you have disappears while your consciousness in the calm and natural Void state.

Use it to your advantage. Now that you know about the Void that you enter when you sleep, the perfect state to manifest anything that you wish to perceive, with no “resistance”, no illusions of annoying solid things around, you only need to remember your scripted starting point in your DR and practice watching it all coming out of the Void.

Practice that scene with your eyes closed, say to yourself:”That is what I perceive. Next time I’m in the Void, I’ll experience this”. You won’t even need to be fully aware of yourself that way when you get into the Void while you are asleep. Your subconscious would do all the work as it now would have the instruction and a clear image of you expecting it.

Personal experience: as I was receiving information on this method, I almost stepped into my DR! I wasn’t even in the absolute void state, I was only creating the scene for this method and I felt it materialise with my senses!

I have great feeling that it’s going to give fast results for others! Try it, teach your subconscious what it needs to bring forth while in the Void, let it do your work for you!”

Lastly, I’m gonna talk abt my beliefs real quick bc the fear of shifting vs manifesting makes me sad for y’all. I understand you don’t wanna leave behind the people you love and that’s not fear to feel ashamed of having! I personally hate the npc mindset a lot of have people have adopted. The only thing we know for sure is that assumptions create realities, and consciousness is the real reality. Everything else boils down to assumptions, except for principles. For example, shifting is not lucid dreaming, even if you assume it to be. That is the principle. I’m just going to copy what I told my mutal bc I’m lazy and need to finish Christmas stuff 😭😭 but Our imagination and the 4D realm are products of our consciousness, which is indeed real. Our view of reality is shaped by our consciousness, since we can't experience everything all at once.

Unless, of course, you shift into a super omnipotent god. Even then, you’d probably still struggle with the concept of infinity because, well, infinity is infinite. And it’s constantly a never exnding expansion. As humans, we're finite beings, and our understanding of the infinite is naturally limited. Because you can’t and won’t ever experience everything at once, infinity is always expanding. Our awareness can be thought of as fragments of consciousness; it's like being a drop of water in a massive ocean. Even though our perception is limited, the infinite is always there, always existing. We simply adjust our awareness to perceive this infinite reality.

And through our consciousness, we are able to tap into other realities or 'multiverses', which give us a broader understanding of existence. This exploration of consciousness and the multiverse is a significant part of my journey into the world of manifestation.

The law of consciousness explains why, when you "shift" or change your perspective, you don't physically move. It's all about altering your state of awareness. This is also why time doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. You can become aware of any time or day you want, as long as you choose to be aware of it. It's like having a mental time machine. This law is why infinite universes exist. As long as you can be aware of it, you can assume and embody the state of that person. Whether that's someone with a billion dollars on Earth, or a person who lives in the Attack on Titan world, it's all about your awareness.Our awareness is just a fragment of the larger consciousness – hence the idea of the multiverse. Each universe is a different fragment, a different state of awareness. And we have the power to “shift” into any of these states, therefore shifting into any of these universes.

I’m telling you this bc there’s no need to be afraid of manifesting or being in a reality with robotic versions of the people you love. Ariana grande and Marilyn Monroe for example talk about loa without acknowledging it and we see their success. Neville Goddard and his followers saw each other’s manifestions and I manifest for my friends and they mnaifest for me.

Take a deep breath and let go of the tik tok clone mindsets y’all have they don’t exist. You can manifest and assume anything you want in your imagination. Y’all literally want to manifest things like millions of dollars, revising deaths, living in new countries, having immorality in your waiting rooms, and never aging which is all possible of course. So be for real, why assume and know that you can achieve all that, but it won't manifest exactly how you want? I've also wondered about what happens to the "old version" of people when they manifest their dream life. As far as I'm concerned, they dont exist because you choose not to be aware of them.

I really want to talk about this too, as I've received similar questions and, oh my god, I thought I was alone. I've always been a bit delusional and lived in my head, but when I became conscious of the law, did anyone else feel a sense of self-embarrassment? I don't know what that was, but I'd genuinely feel my soul wanting to throw up envisioning my desires that aren't mine, even though I've always been a daydreamer. It's kind of like when you feel you can't have them or it's strange to envision yourself with something you can't have, so you just purge yourself. 😭

I was thinking back to why that happened and laughing at myself because we need to be serious right now. Why are you getting sick by your own mind? Imagine if Van Gogh, anytime he pulled out a canvas and held a brush, was jump-scared by the brush. Picture him holding out the brush and just staring at the canvas crying because "well, the painting is going to suck 😐," "I don't know what to paint☹️☹️," "I already know it won't be like what I envision in my head 😡😡." Like, bro, the canvas is blank, just fucking paint. That’s why I really like his quote that's like...

“If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.” So If you’re scared of failing, if you’re scared of your desires, or scared of how it will come to fruition, for that reason alone is more so to and manifest it anyways.

But happy holidays guys! make some tea, scroll through Pinterest, read a good book and watch some Christmas films and remember if you can imagine/think your desires you can embody them bc where are you getting it from??

Here are some helpful documents I have read plus a cute vid I saw on insta reels : (let me know if the links are being weird)

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[thevoicefromanotherworld]

"DON'T CRY, BABY"

I JUST WROTE ONE OF THE CUTEST FICS WITH BUCKY I'VE EVER WRITTEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

I hope you like it! 💙

The first time he saw you, Bucky thought you were a mirage, since it was impossible for him that someone as perfect as you existed.

You were always kind to others, offering to help whenever you could, and when someone felt depressed and weak, you were the one who cheered them up and gave them the strength to keep going.

You had arrived at Avengers Tower a few weeks ago, but that didn't stop the super soldier from noticing you more than usual.

You couldn't say you hadn't noticed him too. Since your arrival, the quiet man with the mysterious aura and metallic arm had caught your attention.

You didn't know anything about him, only that he was the captain's best friend, so at first you were shocked to see that one of his arms was made entirely of metal.

As the weeks passed, you got used to it and realized you had nothing to fear.

Steve explained his story and the reason why one of his arms was metallic, and you automatically empathized with him and his story.

You didn't have a metal arm, but several scientists had experimented on you until you had the "abilities" you currently possessed.

You knew perfectly well what it was like to feel used and discarded, like a broken toy that no longer served the purpose for which it was made in the first place.

"You should talk to him," Steve commented one day while talking to you, gesturing to where his friend was leaning against the tower railing.

"I don't think that's a good idea," you murmured timidly. "I don't think he'll like me"

"That's impossible," Rogers smiled. "You're the kindest person I know," he encouraged you. "I'm sure he'll like you." He shrugged. "He might be a little cold at first, but once you break through that barrier, there's a man worth getting to know."

"Since when did you become so poetic?" —you asked, laughing. He tilted his head toward you, mimicking your gesture-

“Sam recommended I read Shakespeare,” he laughed. “I think it's affected me more than it should have.” He nodded toward his friend. “Go on, everything will be okay.”

“Promise?” you asked nervously. He nodded reassuringly.

“I promise,” he smiled as he affectionately ruffled your hair. “Go on, go.”

You took a few deep breaths and walked over to him. You slowly stood beside him, causing him to turn his head to look at you.

You were wearing a black short-sleeved t-shirt and worn jeans. Bucky thought he'd never seen anyone look so handsome in such basic clothes.

“Hi,” you greeted.

“Hi,” he answered, looking at you. “Something wrong?”

"No, it's just…" you swallowed hard. "Steve told me to talk to you."

"Of course he did," the dark-haired man laughed. "About something in particular?"

"No, just…talking."

"Okay."

"Okay."

You were silent for a few moments before you broke the silence.

"Steve told me your story," you began cautiously. "I wanted to tell you that I completely understand everything you've been through, and… if you want… you can talk to me whenever you need to"

He gave a grateful smile, leaning against the railing with his metal arm, the one you couldn't stop staring at.

"Thanks, Y/N," he whispered. It was the first time he'd called you by your name. "I don't mean to be inconsiderate or anything, but how could you possibly know what I went through?"

"Because I…" you swallowed hard before continuing. It was always hard to talk about that—because they put my brain in the blender too

Bucky's eyes widened in surprise.

Until now, no one had been found who had gone through what he had, and the fact that it was you filled him with rage, as he wanted to personally take it upon himself to kill everyone who had ever laid a hand on you.

He waited patiently for you to continue your story. After a few seconds, you did.

"My mother had a rare disease," you continued. "They said it was incurable. From the day she was diagnosed, I did everything I could to find a cure, an antidote, something that could save her life." You paused. "Until some doctors contacted me." They said I was special and that they knew what my mother was going through, and they wanted to run some tests on me because they thought they could find the cure for her illness in me," you took a deep breath, "so I agreed. They ran several tests on me, some so painful that I can still feel it today," you confessed. "In the end, they didn't find a cure. It was all a lie. All they wanted was a guinea pig to test all their macabre research on a single subject, me," you whispered. "After that, my mother died three months after the diagnosis, just as the doctor had predicted."

Bucky was so shocked he didn't know what to say next. He would never have imagined that someone like you had gone through such a painful situation.

"What happened to the doctors?" he asked softly.

"They won't ruin anyone else's life again," you growled, and that was enough answer for the super soldier.

"I'm so sorry for everything you had to go through, doll," he murmured. Your eyes filled with tears as all the memories of those years came flooding back, making Bucky's heart slam in his chest. "Oh baby, don't cry," he whispered, opening his arms. "Come here."

He took you in his arms, and you rested your head against his chest, breathing in the scent of leather and metal that oozed from the pores of his skin.

You felt him massage your hair in a constant motion up and down your back, slowly calming you.

-Shhh, calm down, I'm here, - he reminded you, placing his other arm on your waist to bring you closer to him. - I'm here, - he repeated in your ear. - No one will ever hurt you again.

-Thank you, - you murmured, your voice broken by tears before slowly separating from him. - I'm sorry… I didn't mean to get like that… it's just that…

-It's okay, doll, I got you - he whispered, hugging you again. - Always

[effieotto]

What’s your headcanon about Haymitch and Effie after the rebellion?

Post-Canon Hayffie is just my favorite subjected of all time, so here we go with my favorite headcanons for my favorite silly ones

-Effie started using drugs after the war (real strong drugs, like cocaine and stuff) as a way to cope with her strong suicidal thoughts, and that’s how Haymitch found her two years after he left to Twelve with Katniss, because Plutarch called him for help

-As a consequence of her torture, Effie had injuries that caused permanent damage in her left shoulder, messing with her motor coordination, which made her unable to style her hair by herself. So Haymitch asked Katniss to teach him how to braid her, so he could make her complicated hairdos for her instead

-Effie and Katniss relationship was really hard at the begging, because Effie wasn’t in a great stage of mind to keep her bubbly old self, so between her PTSD, nightmares and withdrawals, combined with Katniss’s grief and severe depression, they were extremely hostile with each other (it is actually a very complex analysis of their relationship, so i’ll let the explanation to another post). So Haymitch and Peeta had to meddle the situation together to not let it get out of control, like they screaming at each others face, blaming them for their own miserable stages

-Haymitch was a huge gossipy man, although he strongly denied that. Therefore, every night, when Effie get home from downtown, they would set in front of the fire with two cups of tea and share every detail about the dirtiest scandal they could find

-Peeta and Effie got together to cultivate a community garden for the few people living on Twelve, where they planted fruits, vegetables and medicinal herbs, not only to help the District to get back to their feet but also to distract their minds

-Every time Haymitch had a bad nightmare, Effie would set his head down on her lap, pet his hair and sing the song his mother used to sing to him when he was a kid (the one she learnt from Grease Sae because she asked her help to learn more about Twelve’s culture, cause she wanted to do it right)

-When she had progressed on her condition, Effie was getting crazy staying at home doing nothing, so she decided to start teaching the young ladies from Twelve all the things she had learned from home (like music, etiquette, sewing, communication etc) -latter she joined an small school to continue her journey-

-Their relationship never changed from what it was before ~They continued with the teasing and fighting like they were still who they were back then, mostly. However, with all the baggage they both now had, they needed to adapt to a new routine. So there was bad days when Haymitch would drink himself to oblivious remembering his dead friends, and Effie would stay completely catatonic over a particular bad flashback. When it happened, the other would give them enough space while doing small things to try and get the other back from their depression

-Effie was obsessed with local festivals and she would drag Haymitch with her every month when Twelve made a big carnival, so they could eat, dance and help Peeta with his pastries stands. At first people who were living in Twelve wasn’t very friendly with her during it, but when she started going earlier to help them build the stands and make their schedules more consistent with all her escort knowledge, they warmed up a little bit -although most of the friends she made came from different Districts, mostly nine, eleven and six. The Twelve original citizens (apart from Grease Sae) never really got to friendly terms with her, for obvious reasons

again, i have many more, but since it was already a lot, maybe i’ll do another one later (if you want)

[the-tmnt-ficfinder]

What are some of your personal favorite fics? Whether they're on the list already or no!

Oh gosh, I've read a lot of really wonderful fanfics!! For me personally, my favorite fanfics are always the ones that have elicited a strong response out of myself. I'll go ahead and list a few that I've really enjoyed! Note, they aren't in any particular order of favoritism. I like them all!! If they're already in my list, the link supplied is the one leading to the appraised version listed on my Fanfic List Masterpost! If its not in my list, then I simply supplied the direct link to the fic on Ao3 ^^ I hope you give some of these a try!! I wholeheartedly recommend them all!!

When I Was Younger by @sketchiefoxie & @inkypawprint (Rottmnt Fanfic) Summary: It’s a month after the invasion, and the Mad Dogs believe they’ve left the worst behind themselves. Though their whole world is shook when none other than their future selves, not Casey’s future versions, but themselves come back to the past. Something big is coming; something involving the Krang and the Foot clan, and it isn’t good.

The Lemonade Leak by @turtleinsoup (Rottmnt Fanfic) Summary: "Leo can not sleep, because there is a thing in Donnie's lab, pretending to be his twin. Or: It turns out that being created as a biological super soldier comes with a few... modifications. Some of those, more dangerous than others."

firefight by @remedyturtles (Rottmnt Fanfic) Summary: Donnie collided with Leo in a tangle of limbs. There was an instinctive cling in return from his twin, before the realization sunk in. "No." Leo breathed in his ear, immediately shattered. "No, no, no, no, no!” Every muscle in Donnie's body was shaking like an earthquake from the amount of effort he'd just expended. The explosion caught up to them, sending the twins spiralling away into space and debris. For one singular moment, Donnie allowed himself a burst of victory. His heart was still thudding a thousand miles an hour in his chest, having been absolutely terrified he wasn't going to make it in time. But he did. And he held onto Leo, his prize. Then they hit the ground, the sudden tumble bursting them apart. Donnie felt the world spin, rapid and disorientating, before he slammed into something rock and cracking under his impact. or: donnie doesn’t let leo go to hell alone

My Life, Their Story by @azucar-skull (Rottmnt Fanfic) (You'll) Get Through It (MLTS Part 1) Summary: After saving the world from the Kraang, (Leo included), Mikey suffers from severe nerve damage in his arms. This disability takes over his entire life, causing a lot of chaos. Right Now Is Real (MLTS Part 2) Summary: Raph grew up with nightmare disorder, something that he was born with that gradually got worse over time due to PTSD, especially after the Kraang incident. This leads to Raph becoming a danger to himself and others as everyone tries to help him seek out help. The Show Must Go On (MLTS Part 3) Summary: Leo deals with severe depression and PTSD after the events of the movie as he strives to be a better brother. Freak Of Nature (MLTS Part 4) Summary: After Donnie thought he lost everything, he ended up losing even more. Including his mind. Or; Donnie has a gun--

Down With The Stockholm by @devotedtosadpoetry (Rottmnt Fanfic) Summary: Leonardo is captured and experimented on until he is turned exactly into what they want him to be. Some things cannot be undone. Meanwhile, mutants and yokai are in hiding, fearful of this powerful entity.

Revelations Timeline AU by @idk-im-just-here-now (Rottmnt Fanfic) Song of a Sunny Day (fading into dusk) Part 1 Summary: It's been a month after the Kraang invasion. The lair has been filled with nothing but the sounds of a heart monitor and quiet. It's too quiet for Mikey, so he goes on a solo run of the city. He finds a violin case on the ground and decides to take it home. After all, what could go wrong with learning an instrument? As it turns out, quite a lot. Memories of a Tyrant (locked in a prison) Part 2 Summary: After the events of the Kraang invasion, Donnie has thrown himself fully back into his work. This time though, he has a new companion, who keeps reminding him of events too close to be called the past and slithering through his head... The Ghosts That Wander (and the monsters who follow) Part 3 Summary: Being in a coma is not fun, but somehow, neither is not being in a coma. As Leo finally comes to after the invasion, things around the Lair look very different - and not in any kind of way that Leo likes. The Call Of A Parasite (hunting the hivemind) Part 4 Summary: Its been one week since the invasion, and everything is still in a near critical state. Overwhelmed by it all, and the fear of becoming a monster once more, Raph takes to the ruined streets of New York But barely a week has passed, meaning open ground is still crawling with the remnants of the Kraang. And Raph begins to learn.

Adagio in Green: Panacea by @boxfullaturtles (Rottmnt Fanfic) Summary: They stopped the apocalypse, but it's left them in bad shape. Leo's shell is in pieces. Mikey won't wake up. Donnie can hardly move. Raph's barely holding himself together. They're going to need all the help they can get to survive in the wake of the invasion. It’s a good thing they’re not alone. --------- A post-movie story about processing grief and trauma, and how the road to recovery isn't always a straight line.

So, I guess... we all have issues by SpectrumWriting on Ao3 (TMNT 2012 Fanfic) Summary: Mikey wasn't insane. He knew he wasn't. He really did have three brothers and a father, no matter what his paperwork said. Also, none of his family was human, and neither was he. That was the truth about him, no matter what anyone else thought. (Sticking by that truth got him thrown into an asylum. What a surprise.) **Winner of FIRST PLACE in the Universal TMNT Mature Fanfic Competition 2016 for MOST COMPELLING AU, and winner of SECOND PLACE for MOST SPOT ON PORTRAYAL OF MICHELANGELO.**

Thank you for the ask!! I really enjoyed answering this one, and I hope you enjoy some of the fics I listed!! Any of them that aren't in my list, will be added eventually. Have a wonderful day! ^^

[herofics]

One and Only, Always

A/N: I’m not having the best time right now and I wanted to vent so here’s some comfort with Geto. I’m in uni currently and it’s causing me a lot of stress right now, also depression spiral and shit like that basically

“What do I keep doing wrong?” you muttered as you laid on the floor of the bedroom.

You didn’t understand. Everyone else could do it. All your other classmates could go to school, work and take care of their family at the same time. You couldn’t even manage school, and to take care of yourself at the same time. Geto being so busy all the time was kind of a relief, honestly. You were so tired all the time, and managing the relationship was hard, so it was easier when he wasn’t there. You hated that you felt this way. You loved him so much, but being around him, around anyone really, was just extremely tiring.

“What are you doing down there, love?” Geto asked from the doorway.

You hadn’t even heard him come in.

“Thinking… I guess” you answered reluctantly.

“What about?” he asked as he sat down on the floor at the end of the bed.

“Nothing in particular, I’m tired so it’s kinda hard to keep my thoughts in order, so I’m not really sure either” you sighed.

You crawled to Geto and rested your head on his thigh. He was wearing sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt. You were so used to seeing him in his monk robes that it was a bit odd to see him looking so casual.

“Why are you home so early anyway? I thought you had meetings the whole day?”

“I wrapped them up quickly, besides it’s not really early, it’s seven in the evening” he chuckled.

“Oh… I knew that”

“What’s going on with you? You’ve been a bit distant as of late” Geto noted.

You sighed, he never missed anything. He didn’t always say something right away, he sometimes observed the situation for days, weeks even, before saying anything.

You pushed yourself up to a sitting position and sat next to him. Geto wrapped his arm around you and caressed your shoulder with the tips of his fingers.

“I don’t know, honestly. I don’t have any good reason to be depressed again. Like fuck, I’ve been in uni for a year, and I’m already on the verge of burning out. I don’t understand what I keep doing wrong, because there has to be something.” you said.

“Oh love” Geto sighed sympathetically.

“I can’t just be this-this broken piece of shit! I can’t just be this useless!” you exclaimed in frustration, banging your head against the end of the bed.

Geto placed his hand between your head and the end of the bed, so you wouldn’t hurt yourself.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself, stop” he said kindly but sternly as he forced you to lean your head against his shoulder.

“I don’t know what-what to-to do Suguru. I don’t want to be here if I can’t be useful to someone” you started sobbing.

Geto pulled you into his lap and you buried your face into his chest. You didn’t mean to break down like this. You didn’t want to be a burden.

“You’re not useless love, you’re not. You saved me back when we were in Jujutsu High, if it wasn’t for you, I probably wouldn’t be here right now. You’re my rock, and my light, the love of my life” Geto said as he peppered kisses on top of your head and embraced you tightly.

He hated seeing you like this and maybe even more than that, he hated that he wasn’t sure how to help. Geto let you cry it out. He held you until your tears ran out and you got your bearings again.

“I’m just so tired of this, I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I want to be able to do things like everyone else can, and not just be left behind every fucking time. If I can’t even do that, then what’s the point?” you said quietly, fiddling with his shirt.

“Honestly, that’s something you’re going to have to discover for yourself. I don’t think any of us get a straight answer anyway, we all have to find our own meaning” he said, looking at you softly.

You met his eyes, those beautiful amber eyes that always looked at you with such love. You searched his expression for any signs of dishonesty, but you never found any, not now, not ever before. His honesty towards you was one of the big reasons you loved him.

“I can tell you this though, you’re a big part of my meaning. I don’t know what I would do without you, I feel like my life would be lacking if you weren’t here” he smiled.

“I love you Suguru, I think the only reason I’ve been able to keep going for this long is because of you” you said and placed your hand on his cheek.

“I don’t think I deserve the credit for that. You’re the one that’s kept fighting and pushing through all the obstacles” he said, moving your hand that was on his cheek so he could kiss your palm.

“But you’re my reason for fighting, you’re a part of my meaning too” you smiled tiredly.

Geto pressed his forehead against yours and whispered: “You’re my one and only, and I love you, don’t ever forget that” before kissing you softly on the lips.

His one and only, always.

[prettyluvvluminah]

Haunting me, here with me

Pairing: Eddie Munson X Ghost!Reader

Summary: This is based on the song “Vera Lee” by Insane Clown Posse

Warnings: A lot of mentions of (readers) death and illness, Eddie thinks he was cursed. I used She/Her pronouns for the reader, i mention the reader as “skinny and pale” (when she’s a ghost)

AN: I started this AGES ago but got soo busy with college and couldn’t finish it. I was going through my drafts and found it but I no longer support ICP but I ultimately decided to finish and publish it so the end is rushed and I do apologise !!

I was never nothing popular, and neither was she. She was kind though, always had a smile for me.

Eddie made his way through the depressing hallways of Hawkins High. The dull, bland walls seemed to close around him. Eddie was oblivious to his surroundings, enclosed in his own thoughts as he trod the worn linoleum floor.

A hard barge to the shoulder awoken Eddie from his trance.

“Move freak.”

Jason Carver. Of course. They man who single handedly made Eddie’s school life a living hell. Spreading rumours and lies telling people Eddie was a satanist. Which obviously isn’t true, but coming from Jason’s mouth people believed it immediately.

Eddie, not being in the mood today simply rolled his eyes and kept walking. Looking into the abyss of highschool students, one face in particular stood out.

Their eyes met across the hallway, and for a brief moment, time stood as they shared a sweet smile. It was a simple gesture, kind. But it conveyed so much more. A shared moment of understanding and a connection in the sea of human faces surrounding them.

Eddie’s eyes followed her as she looked away, staring at the ground. He continued his gaze until she disappeared completely.

——————————————

She was always out sick, missing every other day.

Eddie sighed as he entered into the dull room that was his English class. He wouldn’t usually be here, but the principle threatened to suspend him if he kept skipping classes. So really, he had no other choice.

He sat on the cold, hard seat and picked up a pen and began doodling the ragged table. Little bats and skulls littered along the hard wood when something in the corner of his vision. Or, the lack of something. He turned his head to the right and was met with an empty desk. This was the third day now that she was absent. Even though they’re not close, Eddie found comfort in the minimal interactions between himself and her.

He sighed deeply, pondering about what she would be doing right now.

————————————————————

When I heard she passed away, I must admit I was sad. Cause of all the mean faces hers was sweet and always glad.

The news of the girls passing had left Eddie shaken, his eyes getting glassier with each passing second. His mind raced with all the moments the two shared together. Then his mind wondered to the missed opportunities. Could they have been closer if he tried that little bit harder? The weight of the news felt like a crushing blow to the heart. He recalled all the times he had passed by her, he couldn’t help but feel the sense of deep regret.

————————————————————

Why was Vera Lee haunting me, here with me? Vera Lee, watching me carefully.

Eddie laid on his crumpled bedsheets, strumming softly at the guitar. He was not playing any specific song, just letting his fingers dance. A sudden chill made its way onto eddies neck. It fell from his upper back and crawled its way down to the bottom of his spine.

Eddie froze. Silence filled the empty room as he just waited. Waited for anything.

The sound of a door creaking filled his eardrums. It was coming from inside the house. He looked into the abyss of darkness that covers his bedroom, focusing onto his bedroom door. Holding his position and being as quiet as he possibly can.

Silence. There was nothing. His door stood idle, almost in a mocking way.

He was just being paranoid, he must be!

Eddie shook his head, making his curls bounce in the process and laid back, preparing to start strumming again.

When something in his peripheral vision caught his eye. He slowly turned his head and his eyes widened in horror.

A ghostly figure lurking in the darkest shadows of his room. A woman, skinny and pale, almost translucent. The air seemed to ooze an eerie aura, and Eddie realised, he had seen that face before.

It was her.

Eddie began to panic, throwing his beloved guitar into the air and it landing somewhere onto the floor, now abandoned. He scrambled to get up and frantically searched for the light switch.

With the flick of a switch, she was gone.

His heart raced and his breathing was shallow. Was he just seeing things?

————————————————————

And now that she's gone, I can hear her crying my name.

“Eddie…”

Eddies body lay limp, staring at the ceiling above him. He turned his head and looked at the clock.

4:37am

The more he tried to ignore it, the more the voice grew louder, needier. Like she was begging for him to react. But he didn’t. He couldn’t.

He feared if he did, she would never leave him alone. That he would be haunted by her presence night after night, and never find peace.

He knew that she was harmless. I mean, he knew she was.

“Eddie.”

The voice said again. Only this time, it sounded…fatigued.

She was trying so desperately to get his attention, but he didn’t say a word. He wanted to, my god did he want to.

But honestly, he was scared. Scared of what that would mean. If Eddie responded, one of two things could happen. Number one, the ghost girl would reply and confirm what he had been suspecting, that ghosts are real and he is infact being haunted by his dead classmate. Or, the second option, nobody responds and it turns out he’s been completely wrong and he’s going insane and hearing voices.

Neither one was a good choice.

So Eddie did what any sane man would do, and stayed silent.

Every 5 minutes, like clockwork, the small, agitated voice called out.

“Eddie.”

It started off as a timid, fragile sound, but as time went on, the sound got louder. Anger was rising and evident in her voice.

“Eddie.”

Again. And again. And again. And again.

Eddie knew she wasn’t going to stop. But he honestly couldn’t handle hearing it anymore. The repetitive sound acting like nails on a chalkboard.

——————————————

Every night I hear her in my head, begging me to join her with the dead

Wayne had him doing the dishes, THE DISHES?? Eddie was so done with this shit. He wanted nothing more than to just sit down and relax but Wayne had him doing non-stop chores, while Wayne was sitting drinking a beer on this couch.

Eddie continued mumbling to himself and aggressively scrubbing the (now clean) plate.

“Eddie.”

“What?” He replied almost immediately.

Wayne didn’t reply so Eddie asked again.

“What?” This time more aggressively.

“Wat’chu mean “wut”?” Wayne’s southern accent came out thicker than ever.

“What did you call me for?” Eddie asked as if it was obvious.

Wayne raised an eyebrow and looked at Eddie as if he had grown a second head.

“I didn’t say nuthin..”

Eddies face went pale yet started to burn at the same time…

“Eddie…”

His breathe caught in his throat…

“You okay son?”

Eddie broke out of the trance and snapped back into reality. He nodded and cleared his throat. “Yeah, I um…I just… feel a bit sick so I think I’m gonna go take a nap.”

Eddie put down the plate and rushed into his room before Wayne could even reply.

Was he hearing things again? He hadn’t heard her in a while, but if Wayne didn’t hear her…then it must of been in his head…

She’s gotten in his head.

————————————————————

Why?! Is she calling out to me!? TO ME?! WHY?

He was going mad, he was sure of it.

Everywhere the looked she was there. Through a window, the tv screen, even a page in the book he was reading, she was there. She was angry now, angry that he refused to join her.

He had to do this, for both of them.

Eddie sucked in a deep breathe then looked up.

“Y/N”

the girls eyes widened, she’s wanted him to answer for some time but she wasn’t prepared for when he actually did. With wide eyes she let out a little huff.

“Eddie..?” She said, this time with a hint of confusion.

He was so used to her calling his name, it used to anger him. Infuriated him in ways he couldn’t even comprehend, but that same voice he usually despised, sounded so soft this time around. He couldn’t help but feel all soft inside.

Again, he suck in a breath and looked at her, a soft smile etched onto his lips and he felt warm.

He had been thinking about what to say. He need to plan it perfectly. Figure out exactly what he needed to say and explain this directly and clearly.

“I’m not going to join you. I don’t want to.”

Her brows furrowed and she began to speak

“Come with me Eddie, it’s so peaceful here. No pain, no worry, no-“

“I can’t. I have things here, people I love, I still live.”

“But I’m here, I’m waiting for you-“ her breath caught in her through and she stopped herself from choking up.

Then, just as she had composed herself, Eddie interrupted her.

“Stay with me.”

He said is less of a question, more of a statement.

“Stay with me, let me keep you close. We can do things, normal things. I can take you out, we could go on a walk, I could write you a song. Just…stay, please.”

She stood idle for a moment, thinking.

“But…you can’t touch me. You can’t hold my hand, hug me, kiss me…”

Immediately following, Eddie said

“I’d rather reach for your ghost than lose you for good.���

She was silent for a moment.

Then;

“Okay…I’ll stay.”

And so in his trailer they stay. She found a home there, she spends most of her time at his desk, reading the poems he writes about her. Sometimes she even crosses paths with Wayne (who surprisingly was very supportive).

It’s hard, but they knew it would be. They had prepared for it.

Eddie used to fear death, but he no longer does. Because when he does go, it will be her arms that welcome him.

As always if you see any mistake please, please, PLEASE tell me so I can fix them !! ALSO REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! I want to get back into writing again so I encourage you to request!!!

[romanoffblitzer]

An Abridged History of YachiFumi

This will not be an exhaustively researched post. This is just me telling stories off the top of my head.

The first interaction between Yachiyo and Fumi, in the main story of ReLIVE, goes something like this:

Some people think that YachiFumi grew out of this single interaction, but I don’t really think that’s the case. After all, there are numerous interactions between the Revue girls, and most of them can be turned into shippable moments, but only YachiFumi exploded the way it did. Rather, I think YachiFumi filled a niche that people were looking to fill: an angsty ship that dealt with the fallout of Fumi leaving Siegfeld.

These days, we can point to Akira as the person other than Shiori most upset by Fumi’s departure, but back then, when no one knew anything of the circumstances that caused Fumi to leave or how the Siegfeld girls felt about it, speculation ran wild. I think people gravitated to Yachiyo because, for some reason or another, the other Siegfeld girls didn’t fit what people were looking for: back then, Akira was fairly aloof and cold, Mei Fan had a big crush on Akira, and Michiru was focused on Akira (and no one really understood her). That left Yachiyo, whose mysterious, detached demeanor could be hiding all sorts of things. What if Yachiyo was close to Fumi before she left? What if she was the one most broken up by her departure?

And so, fanfic writers and readers being the sluts for angst that they are, ran with this idea. As far as I can tell, people started shipping YachiFumi pretty early in ReLIVE’s lifespan. I can see some archaeological evidence for it dating back to November 2018, and it was definitely a big established thing by mid-2019—that was when I got into the ship myself. The ship was big across people of all languages: English, Japanese, Korean, and more.

By late 2019, however, discontent with the ship was growing among some (in the English fandom, at least; I don't remember seeing any such complaints in the Japanese or Korean fandoms). This was helped along by Chapter 8, Siegfeld's chapter in the main story, which revealed what Yachiyo's Deal was, and it had nothing to do with Fumi in particular. These people contended that Yachiyo's portrayals in YachiFumi fics were out-of-character; they took Yachiyo, who's a pretty easygoing and cheerful person in canon, and turned her into a tearful, depressed, clingy mess. (I've also heard from some that the YachiFumi fandom back then was loud and annoying, which didn't help their perception of the ship. I don't remember personally experiencing the "annoying" part, but they were certainly loud.)

As a person who shipped YachiFumi back then, but was also a thoughtful person who thinks of shipping two characters like putting puzzle pieces together, I also came to believe that the portrayal of Yachiyo in such fics was off the mark. Yachiyo is extraordinarily perceptive, but the old YachiFumi fics tend to make her ignorant as to why Fumi left Siegfeld; Yachiyo had trouble relying on others, but the old YachiFumi fics make her dependent on Fumi, sometimes making her barely functional without her; and a decent amount of the time, Yachiyo is antagonistic to Fumi for leaving Siegfeld and abandoning her, but it's not really in Yachiyo's chill personality to get mad at others. Rather than stop shipping YachiFumi, though, I instead started modifying my view of the ship and the two characters to fit the presented evidence.

Still, though, YachiFumi was enormously popular, even with the lack of canon content, something that was commonly joked about. People were clamoring for Yachiyo and Fumi to get some actual interactions, but they had no idea when they would happen. Then, around February 4, 2020, the unthinkable finally happened. Part 5 of the "Venus & Cupid - Angelic Thread of Love" event dropped, featuring Yachiyo visiting Fumi's apartment to get her to come see the play Shiori was going to put on, and the fandom exploded.

I am told that some people were disquieted by how Yachiyo and Fumi's interactions were starkly different from their angsty, emotional headcanons. I'll take their word for it, but I have not seen this for myself; mostly I saw people being very happy and excited, with the angsty YachiFumi writers simply incorporating the scene into their headcanons without discarding the previous angst.

(Around that time, fueled by passion for YachiFumi and discontent with the ship's portrayal in fic, I decided to take a crack at writing a fic for them myself, with the concept that Yachiyo would be the most perceptive and most understanding of Fumi's reasons to leave Siegfeld. It was a good fic for its time, but I consider it outdated now as my perception of both characters and their relationship evolved even further.)

After that, the YachiFumi fandom went on for a while, but as far as I can tell, the old conception of YachiFumi and its associated fandom eventually petered out around 2021 (at least in English; the Japanese YachiFumi fandom, while it lessened, still remains decently active and still upholds angsty Yachiyo to some extent). I attribute this less to lessening interest in the ship and more to probably inevitable lessening interest in ReLIVE itself (I've seen a lot of sleeper YachiFumi fans). Which is a shame, because all the good canon YachiFumi content dates to 2022 or later.

Orpheus Fumi came out in February 2022 and Ruler of the Court Yachiyo came out in June 2022, and the YachiFumi shippers that remained were excited (mostly in the Japanese fandom, although of course I was still around). These bond stories took their dynamic that was established in their initial interaction and built on it, creating a consistent narrative thread about Yachiyo and Fumi noticing and appreciating each others' changes. As far as relationships between ReLIVE girls from separate schools go, Yachiyo and Fumi's friendship ended up being one of the most consistently written. Then came Tsu the Crane Yachiyo in November 2023, the Holy Grail of canon YachiFumi content, and the YachiFumi shippers that survived to that day (who were largely Japanese) exploded, with many victoriously saying "YachiFumi is real now, I don't have to imagine everything into existence for them anymore!"

(There are a few people in the English fandom, grown out of the initial backlash against YachiFumi, who are insistent that Yachiyo and Fumi aren't friends at all, are supposed to have absolutely no interest in each other, and take any interaction between them to be forced and out of character. The canon evidence does not seem to support this.)

Quite honestly, if that was the last piece of YachiFumi content by the game ended service, I would have been content. But we also got Bard Orpheus Fumi, where Yachiyo tries to get Fumi and Akira to reconcile a bit, and Mochizuki Chiyojo Fumi, where Yachiyo seems to be quite pleased that the character Fumi is playing is her character's husband, so we got a little more on top of the absolute meal that was Tsu the Crane Yachiyo.

All else being told, Starira's end of service has done little to lessen my interest in YachiFumi, and I plan to keep thinking and talking about them for a long time.

[caffeinefafnir]

TL;dr: how a simple hobby keeps me from collapsing (bc we really don't pay enough attention to mental health as a society)

So earlier this year I was writting a fanfic and that's been like, the only anchor to sanity I've had for a long while. I started out on a whim one night and spewed out around 10 pages in one night. I've started at 11pm and stayed up till 5am writting. It's been such a fucking nasty year (bc all the shit started last November actually) where I've been struggling with family issues, health issues, being unemployed and struggling financially, and then the feeling of being left behind when my partner got a job and I didn't, and a lage etc. Suddenly in May I got posessed by this supernatural impulse to write a fanfic after what felt like a lifetime (around 13 years). Days turned into months, one draft became 5 separate stories abt the same characters, I discovered what whump was thus rediscovering something I was really adept to without even realizing it, followed closely several challenges althougth never pressured myself to participate (bc deadlines and I don't get along) and on top of that I started a completely new story of a genre I had never dreamt of exploring before.

Around June I was writting a super emotional scene of my side fanfic. My fave character had attempted suicide and failed, and it was a super heavy scene where she talked about this with a friend in the most nonchalant way (at first) and he was completely shocked and devastated. I was writting this at a cafe, my favorite one, and had to make a real effort to keep a straigth face while typing out bc I tend to act out the feelings as I describe them and my eyes were getting all red and wattery. But everything was fine and I got the full scene toghether. And... I felt so incredibly lighter and happier after that.

I've been trying to find an explanation for it since then. I've been battling depression since a long time now, 10 years, but I hadn't felt suicidal since a long long time ago. But I know too damn well the feeling of the symptoms of depression going away, and BOY what I felt was like a MIRACLE! The floating sensation? Just knowing everything is going to be better? Damn I missed that. I had felt it before a few times in prior years when something significantly good happened, when I went regularly to therapy, etc.

The weirdest part is that things weren't even particularly bad at that point, and even when they were the absollute worst around February I hadn't seriously thought about suicide not even once. It was more like homicidal rage at that point haha, but nothing about harming myself. I keep thinking about it ever since, how optimistic I was for the next month or so before my mood got worse due to environmental reasons. And I still went to that part over and over again to correct, add details and overall finishing the rest of the fic but this proved to be a difficult feat since I never could get myself into the same mood again.

And I'm like... what?? Why did this particular scene caused that blissful effect on me? I've never ever been in that exact situation, surely I fantasized about it (we all do at some point) and I know I'm far from cured of the depression for I still feel some of the indicators of its presence, but the change in me since I wrote those pages was explosive and intoxicating. Maybe I was channeling everything through my blorbo in ways I didn't knew I could, maybe it's just the fact that she got listened at without judging or being accused of faking it/being a failure/blowing it out of proportion, maybe bc she was feeling as lonely and unseen as I currently feel to the point you can disappear for days and nobody would notice (or at least that's what you tell to yourself)

I'm worried that if I tell all this to my therapist she'll institutionalize me haha. For real. I dunno what they normally do in these cases lol. Also I don't want to tell her yet that I write fanficiton since I´m not ready to explain an Xgen-er what is it and why my generation hype so much abt it

[dailymolars]

I was Deadpool at a Halloween party today and I had a lot of fun and got to hang out with friends I haven't seen in a bit but I forgot to take my anxiety meds (I fear they may also be treating depression but that I dont have time or energy to figure that out. I'm on antidepressants anyway so like what's the point) on Friday and there's like a (roughly) 2 day delay so they stopped working like immediately after and I'm currently having like the absolute WORRSSTTT post hangout comedown and am also afraid of nothing in particular. like why does it feel like I'm being hunted for sport and like no one likes me dude I JUST came from a party where I had a great time why am I overthinking again I moved past this!!!! ugh I hate the forgetfulness of ADHD cause it fucks me over like this all the time I have delt great for AGES cause I was taking my meds and now my absolute dumbassery has caused me to be all sad and like very worried for no reason. alas. I will sleep it off

[fantasies-fairytales-n-fics]

Code Blue Ch. 54 - Graveyard Stories

Summary: Shorter chapter packed with angst and truths.

*Chapter Warnings* Angst, language, mentions of rape

Chapter characters: Gerry, Lee, Josie

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

Salem, Massachusetts

March 22, 2022

Heading to the hospital to see his dad and Luke, Gerry shook his head as he anxiously drove, constantly glancing at the golden wedding band through tear glazed eyes that threatened his circulation as he replayed the magical kiss over and over in his mind. The kiss that he stole from you only moments earlier that you allowed him to take. The kiss he could still taste that held the lingering remnants of your cherry chap stick. The kiss that you eventually pulled away from and adamantly told him it could never happen again as you ran back to Lee and left him standing there.

The memories of his life with you wouldn't leave him alone, especially now. He knew you felt something when your lips were joined with his. He felt it in the way your body responded to him. The way it used to respond to him. He could see it all as if it were only yesterday. Running hand in hand through the backyard of the guest house, holding each other as you both watched the sunset over the water. He heard the I love you's and felt the tender kisses. He smelled the breakfast he cooked the morning after as you came up from behind and wrapped your arms around his waist.

You may have felt some kind of compassion for Megan because of what happened to her but Gerry wasn't feeling it at all and if he got his way, she would be put behind bars for drugging him. One way or another, he was going to nail her for something. Her present karma wasn't good enough for what she took away from him.

Lost in his own memories, Lee slouched on a bench by his dad's headstone, mumbling the lyrics to a sad slow song he had softly playing on his cell as his eyes burnt from the tears he held back. Depression was eating at his very soul.

"I just think about my baby. I'm so full of love I can barely eat. There's nothin sweeter than my baby. I'll never want once from the cherry tree cause my baby's sweet as can be. She gives me toothaches just from kissin me."

A single tear strayed from his eye as he continued, his voice now choking up. "When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to her."

Lee never listened to music much before he met you. He had usually been the suffer in silence type but now, the silence was too loud and he craved the sappy sounds. He would even seek them out, for every song he heard spoke your name somehow, someway and he would rather feel the pain of you than nothing at all. This ballad in particular painfully resonated with him. Through all of his fuck ups, all of his highs and lows, you were always there, loving him unconditionally with no judgment on his terrible choices and fixing him while he broke you.

He now struggled with the words that similarly described the day you found him. "When my baby found me, I was three days on a drunken sin. I woke with her walls around me, nothing in her room but an empty crib and I was burnin up a fever, didn't care much how long I lived, but I swear I dreamed her. She never asked me once about the wrong I did....."

Soft sobs puffed through his paused, parted lips as Lee gazed upon the 2 carat diamond ring while shifting it about between his fingers. It still managed to sparkle under the sunless sky and it reminded him of you, for you were the only thing that shined in the darkness around him.

For just a little over 5 grand, he chose a highly renowned jeweler in Boston to have the the magical masterpiece tailor-made just for you after he had gained your mother's blessing to take you by his side. It had to be just right. It had to be special because you were the only one to ever make him want the family life for no other reason than love and what made the silver symbol even more unique was the single word inscribed inside the band. Forever.

Before heading to the cemetery, Lee had had made the 30 minute drive to Boston to pick it up which he had planned to do days ago when the jeweler had called him...the call that you walked in on and asked about after his morning run and he had told you it was just spammers. He felt a little fib was worth keeping the momentous surprise a surprise. What he didn't expect though was that you would later believe the call to be some conspiracy involving Elizabeth's attack, but how could he blame you for that after all he had kept from you and even still was keeping from you? He figured if he had the ring in his possession and stared at it long enough, it would give him the push he needed to spill his guts and it was doing the trick. Lee planned to tell you everything when you arrived. What he feared though, was what he had feared all along. That when you learned the truth, would you even want him anymore?

Leaning forward, elbows on his knees, Lee closed his eyes and sighed as he rested his chin on his hands, letting the ring softly graze his bottom lip. It was almost 6 o'clock. It had been 2 hours since your text that told him you would come.

"I don't think she's coming dad." Lee whispered to the granite headstone that now held both of his parent's names. "But I cannot blame her. Now that you're gone, your mind is whole again and you remember what happened. You finally know the truth. I can only imagine what you must think of me now. If you were here, would you still call me a good son?"

Another tear slid down his cheek as Lee remembered the last time he saw his dad. He had brought him the locomotive to Jacob's train set as a gift for his birthday and for some reason, it sparked something in his memory impaired father. He became lucid. The most he had ever been during his residency in assisted living and those times were always far and few between. Lee had never went along with his dad's delusions of the past which was something he knew he shouldn't have done. He would bluntly tell his father that that his wife and grandson were dead. His guilt was unbearable, so Lee told himself he would never lie to his father again. But that day, just that once, Lee decided to play along and let his father believe they were coming for his party. Once his dad saw the engine though, he knew they weren't coming. He knew they were dead, but he only remembered the reason Lee told him his wife died. It was what everyone was told. A heart attack. That day was when his dad understood what Lee had been trying to do and that was when he told Lee he was a good son. Later that night, his father passed away in his sleep and knowing what Lee knew now, with all he himself had seen, they WERE coming for the party, to take him home on the train.

Your voice then sounded from behind him. "Of course he would Lee."

Lee's hand snapped closed over the ring and as he clumsily stood up to face you, he discreetly slipped it into his pocket.

"You...you're here." he gasped with excitement.

Wanting to run into the arms that desperately wished you would, you refrained, forcing yourself not to touch him or it would all be over for you. You were only strong enough to resist him at a distance. "I could say the same thing to you. I figured you would have left by now since I'm 2 hours late. I'm so sorry Lee."

His eyes begged for you to hold him as he reached his hand out to you. "I told you I would wait for you and I always will. No matter how long it takes. Please Jo. I miss you so much."

"I...I think it's best if I just stay right here."

Lee slowly lowered his hand and his smile that held the little last bit of hope he had, fell. "Oh..uh ok. I...I understand."

"Lee...I know how hard today is for you but...are you...ok? I mean, you...you look like hell and you're jittery."

He softly chuckled and nervously rubbed the ungroomed stubble on his face. "Oh, that. Long night, lack of sleep. Probably too many Red Bulls, life of a doctor, missing you, you know. So...did you listen to my voicemail or read my texts?"

"Yeah, I did. Your words were beautiful and moving Lee. They always are, but they're not going to make the elephant in the room disappear. It can't be ignored anymore. It's now or never Lee."

"Alright." he sighed and picked up two roses from the bench that he brought for his mom and dad and placed them on the fresh mound of dirt that had only slightly settled.

Lee then sat down and gazed up at you, waiting for you to sit. Your nerves had your stomach in knots as you sat beside him on the small bench, careful not to touch him, but that didn't even matter because his scent of Drakkar was just as torturous and it was all you could breathe in with being that close to him. He then blew out a hard breath and attempted to begin.

"Where to start Lee, where to start?" Lee anxiously mumbled to himself as he kept his eyes from yours. "Ok, well as you probably have figured out already, I worked with Luke for the WSB. Back then, what he did intrigued me. He said it helped him tremendously with his pent up anger, taking out the bad guys and all and so he got me in, trained me and he was right. It helped me too, dealing with all the shit I went through with Ethan and Liz and not being happy in my medical career. At the time, I really felt I was meant to do it. It felt right, it felt good and I was damn good at it too, but that was until...."

Lee paused and closed his eyes, holding his breath. You could see the emotional pain consume his face and this time, you couldn't help yourself. You slid your hand over his and squeezed, frightened he would have another panic attack.

"Hey, it's alright. You're...alright. Take your time and just breathe."

He let the breath go and allowed his teary eyes to meet yours as he smiled and squeezed your hand back. "You are my air Jo. But I know I need to breathe on my own and face my demons. Right now, it's Satan himself in the form of guilt, regret and shame because.....it's me Jo...I'm responsible for my mo...."

Your phone rang and it was your mom's ringtone so you had to answer it in case something happened with Megan. "So sorry Lee, it's my mom, which I need to tell you something too."

"Yeah baby, of course, answer it."

"Ma, what is it?"

"Joey, what on earth is this about Gerry and Megan??? He just came here all fired up, shouting at her about you and that other detective had to force him to leave before security came. I thought he was going to strangle her!! Is this why you left so upset?? What did Megan tell you?? Jo, I demand to know what is going on right now!!!!"

"Oh god, I...I knew Gerry was upset but I..I never thought he would...never mind. Mom, I'm sorry but...you'll have to ask Megan about it because now is not a good time and quite frankly, she deserved his wrath. I have to go and I'll call you later to check in."

"What?? Not a good time...Joey don't you hang up on..."

You tapped the end call button and heavily sighed while Lee turned his entire body to face you and rubbed your shoulder. "Jo, sweetheart, what happened? I could hear your mom shouting?"

"Ugh!" you huffed. "Megan is what happened. Lee, she was brutally and sexually attacked and left for dead and Dave found her. She's in the hospital and seems to have some memory loss about it all, but I just know it had to be Ethan retaliating because she told Luke she thinks he took Blaise."

"Jesus! Ok...well, what does Gerry have to do with that? I mean, why is he so angry with her?"

"Yeah that." you gulped as your chest tightened. "I have a confession of sorts myself. I was late because I went to find Gerry. Megan decided she was going to have a guilty conscience over her near death experience and she told me that she and Gerry...they never slept together. She....she drugged him and set it all up out of her jealousy over me."

Lee's slouched posture slowly stiffened right up as both his eyes and mouth gaped at you in shock. "O..oh...I...see...." he softly stuttered. "So um, you went straight to tell him. Aside from his anger about it all, I'm sure he was over the moon knowing he is innocent and probably even thinks he has a shot at getting you back. Am I right? What do you feel about it...him.. now?"

"I...I told him it doesn't change how I feel and that I'm not going back to him. It all still happened and I believed it to be true for so long and I told him, reminded him actually that I...I love you."

"So I was right. He did instantly think he could get you back."

"Well...yes. That's why I told him all that and...." you sighed. "Lee, I don't keep things from you and I'm not going to start now. Gerry....kissed me."

Lee's eyes fell from yours. He was just as stunned as you were that you told him, but he was more so hurt. "And..." he whispered with a slight quiver. "Did you kiss him back?"

"I.....Lee...it just happened so fast. He grabbed me out of nowhere and.."

"Jo, that's not what I asked you. A simple yes or no is all that's needed."

"Then it would be both yes and no. I was caught off guard and I didn't react right away. It was a few seconds and then I swear to you Lee, I pushed him away and told him he could never do that again and I left."

Lee's equanimity held an eeriness you'd never felt before. "Oh, well then I guess it's inconsequential and we can all forget about it and move on."

He stood up, placed his hands in his pockets and turned his back to you, then switched up the conversation to something else you dreaded telling him. "So obviously, you finally found Dave and...you said he found Megan. How did that all come about?"

"Can't we talk about that some other time and go back to before we were interrupted? I'll shut my phone off and..."

"No." he snapped, still facing away from you. "I want to talk about it now."

Now you stood up. "Well that's convenient for you huh?"

Lee side eyed you. "I'm not deflecting if that's what you're getting at. I said I'd tell you and I will but it seems to me...." he paused and then faced you, speaking with a cold and sarcastic tone. "that a lot has happened in the past 48 hours that we have been apart and all the while, you ignored me so I'd like to be brought up to speed on what my girlfriend has been doing. Is that so fucking wrong of me?"

"N..no." you softly stammered. "You...you're right. It's just that...the thing with David...it's a sensitive matter to you and.."

"Well now it can't be any more sensitive than another man's lips on my girlfriend, so just spit it out Jo."

"You won't see it that way when I tell you, so...ok then. Dave can see the dead and like you, he saw Jacob and he called me. He said Jacob came to him and told him about Megan and that's how he ended up finding her. She was trapped in the tunnels of Train Town of all places and Jacob told him that Liz was attacked there as well. He was going to go there and look and I didn't think he should because whomever attacked them could have still been around, but he still went and then the call between us dropped while he was there searching and I panicked because Dave didn't answer after that, so I ended up calling Landy to go out there with me and..."

You paused when Lee's eyes began to flit from your blinding words and then he became unsteady on his feet. Gasping, you quickly latched onto him and guided him to the bench.

"I've got you, sit down and breathe. Lee, I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you all this right now. Now do you see why? You're dealing with too much already."

His lips parted and his brows furrowed as he intensely peered down into your eyes. "So..I'm not crazy? I...I really did see my son?"

You stroked his hair and gently wiped the corner of his leaking eye. "I have never thought you were crazy Lee. I always believed you about Jacob. Yes...you really saw him. Lee, he's clearly trying to help in some way and maybe even warn us about something bad that's going to happen because after witnessing rust water very similar to blood come out of Dave's shower and then later in my shower and out of Gerry's sink a few hours ago, I feel it's a sign, possibly from Jacob and I'm scared Lee. I keep thinking of my dream with Liz and Ethan and when Jacob appeared and stood next to you and you and then there was a loud noise and you were bleeding and he said Daddy was going to ride the train too and..."

It was as if Lee had not heard a word you said. "Dave's shower? Why would you be there?"

One terrible habit you always had was not thinking before you spoke when you were upset or nervous, especially if you weren't prepared and you were definitely NOT prepared to tell him all of this because today was just supposed to be about his story. You should have never told him you were there because now you had to explain something you knew Lee would not understand. Once again, you were quite anxious and just began rambling.

"Megan was admitted yesterday evening and I stayed at the hospital with mom for awhile and then it got late and Landy insisted I go home and rest and he would watch over mom. I didn't want to leave but then Dave talked me into going to his place instead of me going back to my apartment alone. I really didn't want to be alone either or deal with Craig, who by the way, was super pissed at me about Blaise just as I knew he would be and he wanted me to move out, which he later changed his mind and we made up and so... I hadn't seen Dave in awhile so I just thought I'd hang out with him like we used to do...just as friends. We watched a movie, I had some drinks and I went to bed in his guest room. That was it. The next day, he was in the shower and I heard him yell and that's when he told me about the rust and then freaking Luke showed up to harass Dave with questions about Megan because Dave hadn't answered his calls and then I got into an argument with Luke over you and I lost my temper and shoved him and then almost got arrested. Jerk even put cuffs on me but then later, he changed his mind and let me go and yeah...so that's pretty much everything that's happened."

Lee seemed spaced out after your info dump, as he just gazed at you blankly and you knew it was because he was trying to process everything you just unloaded on him, which was just way too much. What you didn't know, even as well as you knew Lee, was what would happen next because lately, Lee had become unpredictable, a wild card per se, with his behavior and to add fuel to the fire that was now burning inside of him, your phone beeped which you forgot to shut off.

Lee's eyes swooped down like a hawk at the screen before you could even react. "Who's Jeffrey?"

You could have sworn you just swallowed your own heart as it leaped up in your throat. There was no way you were going to tell him the gory details of all that, at least not now, so you improvised and began with a truthful, but paraphrased version. "He umm...he works for Craig, gardening and...stuff."

His eyes flowed back up to yours in such a slow pace that it raised the hairs on the back of your neck. "Gardener huh? You have your landlord's gardener's number AND...he's texting you. Hmmph. Well...go ahead....read it."

You were certain Lee noticed the small tremors of your hand as you picked up your phone and opened the message, staring at it. "Well don't leave me in suspense here baby. What does your landlord's gardener have to tell you?"

You stuttered in a squeaky voice as you read it. "Hey darlin. I got time to fix that busted tail light tomorrow morning and then it's happy huntin with Lucille for those little piggies. Shoot me a text and let me know if you'll be cumming."

As usual, Jeffrey had to play dirty with his words, so It was definitely better that you read the text to Lee than if he would have read it himself, but the text alone was just enough to set off a silent bomb inside of Lee.

"Well he sure is a handyman ain't he? Wonder if Lucille thinks so too. Is...that his...girlfriend?" Lee probed so you would tell him more.

"Lee, just let me explain."

His sarcastic grin was intimidating. "Explain away.....darlin."

"Lee, stop it. Look, after Luke dropped me off at my apartment, I began packing some of my stuff. I was going to go stay with mom for awhile to help her with Megan when she came home, plus whoever did this to Megan is still out there, which again, I feel is Ethan but Megan, for some reason, feels it wasn't him. Anyways, those asshole hillbillies from the bar that chased me, Luke and Landy, drove by when I was putting my stuff in my car. Of course, they stopped when they saw my car and hassled me. Jeffrey was outside and intervened to help and so did Craig when he saw what was happening. They're the ones who busted my light and Jeff and Craig handled the situation. That's all. Jeff wanted me to have his number in case more of them bothered me again."

Lee stared at you for a moment, then stood back up and slowly scuffled about before swirling back around to face you.

"So let me see if I've got this shit show straight. You were supposed to meet me here so I could finally clear the air about my past, which I had every intention of doing, but you ran straight to Gerry and his lips instead and left me worried and waiting because his feelings and your past with him were much more important than my feelings and my past that you have been constantly on my ass about revealing because the situation with Gerry couldn't wait to be discussed at a later time. And then there's Dr. Dave who also came before me and that you were willing to put yourself in possible danger for and who's house you spent the night in, drinking and watching movies like you would normally do with your me, your boyfriend, all because you missed him and didn't want to be alone, yet I was right there, working at the hospital when you were there and you knew that and you could have came to me instead and then, enter Landy, my best fucking friend whom you also turned to for help instead of me. Then we go onto Craig the landlord of a mafia ring and men's cologne and comforting arms whom you've also been so worried about, yet he kept from you the fact that your brother was still alive. How easily you let him out of the doghouse and forgave him for such a secret, but not me and then there's the so called gardener that you've known for merely a hot minute and he's got your number, texting you, offering to fix your car and offing people who fuck with you, because let's face it darlin, he's no gardener and let us not forget good old Lukey who you got to go joy riding with once again and all the while that you were doing all of this, I was alone and worried sick that I was losing you on top of everything else I was dealing with and I needed you, but you needed and chose them and all their chaos instead because apparently, mine is just too much for you, or maybe I'm just too much for you."

You sat motionless with tears now streaming down your face, unable to blink or break the locked stare with Lee's ruthless eyes as you growled through a shaky voice. "You know why I didn't come to you."

"Oh, that's right. Because you don't trust me anymore and it's quite clear you don't need me anymore either. All over MY past that's actually none of your damn business."

"How is it not my business??? Your past involved Peter or should I say Sam and he was part of my past too and you knew that and kept your involvement with him to yourself! He's still alive, even if in prison, and still a threat to me AND to you. You don't even know the half of what he did to me! and Gerry said he's causing a commotion about wanting to talk to me. Maybe I should have went to see him because we both know he's dying to tell me what YOU should have told me a long time ago."

"Then go Jo. Go fucking see him. Let him spin his side of things because he's such a truthful guy."

"How about you just finish telling me already. I'd rather hear it from you. Not him, not Luke. YOU. Just tell me Lee. What happened?"

Lee rubbed his entire palm over his face as he groaned, then let it slap down onto his hip and shook his head. "God, I can't take this anymore. It's never enough for you is it? Fine Jo, you win. Here it is in a fucking nutshell and that's the best you're going to get from me because I'm done with this and if it's not good enough for you, well then that's just too damn bad baby. My mother and my father are in those graves right there because of me. My father never had Alzheimer's and my mother didn't die from a heart attack. They were shot in the head, in front of me, by Peter's insane terrorist brother Charles Rane. My dad survived. My mother didn't. It was covered up by the WSB and it was all because of Luke's fucked up operation to take the Rane of terror down. It was then that I went and blew Rane sky high. Peter was never even there or involved so technically, he had nothing to do with it or me. So there ya go Jo. You finally got it out of me. Do you feel better now that I had to relive all of it and speak of something I never speak of or am even permitted to do because of a little thing called classified?? No one knows except obviously Luke and of course your brother and now you. Gordon don't even fucking know and Peter and his daddy Faison only knew so much at the time because Rane was eliminated less than 2 hours after it all happened, but they obviously later found out enough to come after me that night at the hospital when Gerry took Faison out. The end."

"Lee...I...my god...I...I'm so sor..."

His face was expressionless, numb if you were to be exact just as his tone. "Don't. You didn't care for the past 2 days when I needed you. I'm not enough for you. You don't trust me but I...I trusted you. You finally got what you wanted. My truth and now you get to live with it just as I do. I'm done. We're done. Goodbye. Fuck forever."

@redeemer46

[blackthorn-legion-irl]

age regresses you (respond whenever you want. i saw a free mess with someone with magic anons and i took it)

[...and you're sure it'll be alright? i know you and whatshisname know what you're doing but---]

[I hope. You can see the cracks getting deeper every day. She's overextending herself, she needs a reinforced foundation.]

[okay. and will she know any of us? 'cause if not she might run off---]

[Though the age and memories will be... fuzzy, indistinct - she will remember you from school at the very least.]

[that's. not as positive as i expected---i'll trust you on this one. just. ceasefire on the pranks, okay?]

[Agreed. ... Maybe I should never have given her access to that world.......]

---

//picrew link: https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/2058617

uh.

hey i guess? simon said this network was safe to use so uh---

they say don't reveal your real name on the internet but i don't have a real name. i'm just me. i guess call me holly. that's what everyone else calls me. it's not me but i'm used to it so.

i was running away and it hurt and i tripped over and hit my head on something and now i'm here. dude from school says i got a concussion or something. i guess 'dude from school' is sorta rude given he's one of the only ones who was actually nice to me. he's. taller than i remember but that's probably the concussion....... he keeps calling me blackthorn though. sounds like some edgy hacker name. or, well, the city in johto but i'm not a city

there's a lot of people in this house. it's scary. at least the house pokemon are nice even if the beldum won't leave me alone

//ooc under cut

so yeah we knew this was coming eventually. thanks anon for being patient :)

this is a prelude to something that happens to coincide with 100 followers (??? how) so i'm calling it an event for that even though the actual goal is to help me brain through something :v

despite the technical deadname, she's still she/her. she just hasn't chucked gender out of the window yet, it still sucks though in terms of medical conditions, all she's acutely aware of is autism/anxiety/depression, not that she'll admit to any of them.

the time period is very hazy and may be inconsistent because she repressed the majority of this time. she also thinks she's in and native to pokeworld (specifically some version of galar), due to the games being one of the only things keeping her going during this time. the 'concussion' will make her see demons as pokemon if needed.

pelipper mail etc is on, though magic anons are a lot more limited. in particular simon has negotiated immunity for the duration :v if i can't deal with something i'll filter it out, but otherwise same as anyone else

these posts will be tagged with 'holly kidthorn' if i remember.

(guess who simon is talking to and win absolutely nothing :D)

[thevividgreenmoss]

I was 16 during the mavericks one title run in 2011 and since that monkey got off my back thankfully when watching this sport the overwhelming draw for me is just like I want to see good games like I root for the dance between teammates and between teams to culminate in great basketball and past that I have a contingent interest in seeing certain players and certain squads do well but it's not really tied to the fate of a particular franchise like sometimes i have a matchup dependent rooting interest but nothing consistent for or against any individual team (except fuck the warriors). Like this abysmal first half of game 1 I'm kinda bummed cause I want Luka to stop having his ceiling limited by what until this season had been a consistently depressing lineup around him but also I love seeing Mark Cuban and Jason Kidd eat shit and I loveeeeee seeing James Harden cook whether it's against my supposed home team or anyone else at the end of the day it's about the joy of seeing hoopers hoop #ballislife